Roll up, roll up, the circus is back in town!
Not enough time has passed from the frst debate for me to consider voluntarily watching it anything other than deliberate self-harm, but I'm going to give it a go. I have a banana and a bottle of soda water, I am READY.
I watched the VP debate, but couldn't stay awake long enough to blog it. Is Pence the guy who wants women to hold funerals for their miscarried foetuses? That's some perverse woman-hating crap right there.
In terms of this week, and indeed, today's developments, a few brief points. Firstly, those women in that press conference looked as though they were in a hostage situation and I want to rescue them. We need to know they are OK and that their families are OK and I am not kidding about this.
Secondly, there is a thing called psychological projection. In future years, the Republican candidate in this election will be used on the cover of books discussing the phenomenon. I look forward to his future failings as his irredeemably tarnished brand sees investors flee him.
And finally, no lawyer wants to defend a rapist, especially a child rapist. But the entirety of our legal system relies on every lawyer doing the very best job they can for every client, especially when they are court-appointed for random clients who could easily be failed by the system. I can fully see how that would not matter in the slightest to the victim, and have nothing but contempt for anyone who would exploit her like this.
OK, five minutes to kick-off. Time for a few stretches!
The woman introducing the moderators is dressed like a beatnik and I love her stylings. Anderson Coper and a woman whose name I don't catch are the hosts, they outline the town-hall procedures and ask people to abide by them. Shots of the families, who all look poised and well-groomed, despite probably planning death, death and more death. And now, with a bald eagle crest that looks as though it's doing yoga, we stare at the set for a minute or two.
In a perfect world, Trump has just gone Hillary off set and she's shanked him.
Still waiting. Its starting to look a bit awkward.
Who is the blonde host? My local newsreader fluffed her name and I've got a low US journo reognition for people I don't follow on Twitter. And then we cut to the sound feed JUST AFTER she introduces herself. Dammit! Martha someone. She looks clever and firm. I learn later it's Raddatz, but I've left as Martha below. She seems as though she is holding back a massive eye roll.
Here they are. Trump looks as though he would rather be anywhere else and as though his suit doesn't fit him properly. Clinton looks a little bit like a penguin.( The blow by blow )
And there we are. In summation, we have learned the following:
* If you do something awful, point out that it was less bad than ISIS. Unless you're Bill Clinton, in which case, you're the worst.
* When they go low, we go high, but then we pause and get a few subtle kicks in because god forbid we have more than two minutes straight of focussing on the issues.
* Iran is the biggest threat in the world, except when it's the only thing standing between us and ISIS, then thank goodness for Iran, Russia and Syria.
* Trump totally paid taxes. Except for the ones he didn't pay. Also, Hillary earns 8 times more than her tax returns say, honest.
* Clinton would dearly love a time machine to go back and change her email choices, despite her actions being the same as Powell and Rice and her server more secure than a government one to all appearances.
* The questioners at this debate are really sick of the bullshit.
* The audience at this debate have watched MUCH TOO MUCH Hunger Games
* The moderators of this and every other debate (especially the VP one) deserve a lifetime of free cake and gin.
* One banana and a litre of soda water is not sufficient brunch when you have to type for two hours.
See you for more in a week.
ETA: I FORGOT! Trump repeatedly said that Clinton 'acid washed her emails'. I was bamboozled by this reference to bad 90s fashion until I read that the program the FBI said the Clinton team used to delete some emails was called BleachBit. Donald, they don't actually bleach the internet.