OMG! You're on my flist, you've seen my snark. I agree - I'd rather do it in private than hurt someone. I'm not infallible, and make many mistakes in my own writing. People put a lot of their heart into what they write, be they good or bad. So who am I to rip their little world down around their ears.
But, YES! Sometimes you just want to grab them by the ears and go 'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?'
What gets me even more is when I find a fic (ie., my recent post) that boggles my poor little brain, and then see writers that I actually have a reasonable amount of time for commenting on the same fic as raving about how good it is. Then I start to wonder what's going on in the universe, or whether I'm just a picky bitch and should give up.
But... on with the rants, as you have so kindly opened up the invitation.
* You DO NOT own Draco Malfoy, and despite some amusing fanon interpretations to the contrary, he is NOT a mincing, whining, girl in leather pants, and if he was (crack!fic aside), Harry would NEVER want to have sex with him. There are limits!
* Two penises cannot fit in there together if the men possessing those penises are standing side by side. It just doesn't work that way... please see some basic anatomy books and start again.
* Lube... for god's sake, please remember the lube. I'll even accept a spell, or saliva, if you're generous.
* I'm no expert, but you might want to reconsider those 'English as a second language' courses, because it certainly doesn't appear to come naturally to you.
* They're called 'tenses' - please research and apply.
* 35k words of plotty fic where Harry and Draco only start actually talking to each other in the last 5k words? May be an excellent story, but it is NOT a H/D fic.
* Necessity may be the mother of invention, but was it really necessary to invent new words? The English language has a lot of them already, and it's hard to believe you weren't able to find something to fit.
* Are Gay boys really THAT MUCH more sensitive than straight boys? I've touched a few, and I've yet to see one really moan just because someone ran a finger down their neck, or stomach... yes, I get that their passion is SO MUCH more passionate than anyone else's, but, okay, have you actually ever touched a boy?
* Screaming is loud, screaming is extreme... it's not a normal consequence of the average orgasm, or penetration (unless you forgot to look at my comment on Lube). Cry out, moan loudly, shout even... but scream? Someone's been doing too many method acting classes, I feel.
* Unless your character has fingers the size of Danish salamis, single digit penetration generally is NOT painful. Especially with lube (yaye lube). It can be a shock, invasive, uncomfortable, but pain, not so much. You might try it for research purposes - remember the lube. ;)
Hmmm, I do seem to like occupying large spaces in your comments list. (Kai sends a tummy pummel for good measure)
no subject
OMG! You're on my flist, you've seen my snark. I agree - I'd rather do it in private than hurt someone. I'm not infallible, and make many mistakes in my own writing. People put a lot of their heart into what they write, be they good or bad. So who am I to rip their little world down around their ears.
But, YES! Sometimes you just want to grab them by the ears and go 'WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?'
What gets me even more is when I find a fic (ie., my recent post) that boggles my poor little brain, and then see writers that I actually have a reasonable amount of time for commenting on the same fic as raving about how good it is. Then I start to wonder what's going on in the universe, or whether I'm just a picky bitch and should give up.
But... on with the rants, as you have so kindly opened up the invitation.
* You DO NOT own Draco Malfoy, and despite some amusing fanon interpretations to the contrary, he is NOT a mincing, whining, girl in leather pants, and if he was (crack!fic aside), Harry would NEVER want to have sex with him. There are limits!
* Two penises cannot fit in there together if the men possessing those penises are standing side by side. It just doesn't work that way... please see some basic anatomy books and start again.
* Lube... for god's sake, please remember the lube. I'll even accept a spell, or saliva, if you're generous.
* I'm no expert, but you might want to reconsider those 'English as a second language' courses, because it certainly doesn't appear to come naturally to you.
* They're called 'tenses' - please research and apply.
* 35k words of plotty fic where Harry and Draco only start actually talking to each other in the last 5k words? May be an excellent story, but it is NOT a H/D fic.
* Necessity may be the mother of invention, but was it really necessary to invent new words? The English language has a lot of them already, and it's hard to believe you weren't able to find something to fit.
* Are Gay boys really THAT MUCH more sensitive than straight boys? I've touched a few, and I've yet to see one really moan just because someone ran a finger down their neck, or stomach... yes, I get that their passion is SO MUCH more passionate than anyone else's, but, okay, have you actually ever touched a boy?
* Screaming is loud, screaming is extreme... it's not a normal consequence of the average orgasm, or penetration (unless you forgot to look at my comment on Lube). Cry out, moan loudly, shout even... but scream? Someone's been doing too many method acting classes, I feel.
* Unless your character has fingers the size of Danish salamis, single digit penetration generally is NOT painful. Especially with lube (yaye lube). It can be a shock, invasive, uncomfortable, but pain, not so much. You might try it for research purposes - remember the lube. ;)
Hmmm, I do seem to like occupying large spaces in your comments list. (Kai sends a tummy pummel for good measure)