blamebrampton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blamebrampton) wrote2008-08-02 12:48 pm
blamebrampton) wrote2008-08-02 12:48 pm
Dear FM
Stop that right now!
If your strikethrough was in fact a genius cunning plan for lovelypushdragon fic, IT'S ALREADY WORKED! And that is the only good thing I can say about it.
If it's because someone in your RL is giving you crap over the time you commit to fandom, you just need to get a few addresses out there and my botanical poisons genius and PI's sweet, innocent face can finally work together for evil, er, good! yes, GOOD I tell you!
If it's because you need a break, just Turn Off the computer and step away for a few days, then come back without giving any of us heart failure.
It it's because you think that you have hurt anyone, then sit down, Aunty Brammers is going to pass you a cup of tea and have a quiet word. There is not a malicious bone in your hyperactive little Mousey body. Sometimes you don't get a story. DO you ever blame the author? No, you blame your response to it (which is EXACTLY the appropriate thing to do, some stories we are just not born to get). Sometimes a story scares you. Every time you have written "This story scares me!". Do you know how strong a writer feels to know that their words can do that?
Sometimes you overthink the relationship that you have with authors. This is what I thought when I read your first take on a story of mine: "Ooh, a sweet little cracky review! That's so ... not crack. This writer writes like it's crack, and it's actually deep and connecting and FUCK ME SHE CAN SEE THAT BENEATH BOUNDLESS SKIES IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT MY DYING CAT AND SHE HAS NEVER EVEN MET ME! HOW??"
Do you know how many other writers have had this exact conversation with me about your work? Because I can't tell you since I haven't asked them whether or not I can spill their beans, but it's all of them who matter. Everyone has actually read through and said "Fuck me, what looked like the red-cordialled ramblings of a muppet turns out to have poetry at its soul, and that poetry seeks to understand my work." They have said this even when you have said: "I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND!!"
So I am passing you a cream cake now, to go with the tea, and I am saying: you need to look beyond the red-cordial-fuelled ramblings of other muppets and see if you can find the poetry beneath them, because that's where the truth of it will lie. And some of those truths will say "Writing scares the bejesus out of me" and others will say "I wrote my soul into this, which scares me" and others will say "The world scares me at times, but this world I can create". And if you look at all of those truths, you'll see the core truth of writers: that all of us are scared of many things, and hurt by them, too, just as you are today. But what makes everything bearable and worthwhile is taking that fear and hurt and using them to do battle with the word and the world.
So could you please go back to doing that now? And no, you may not have another cream cake until you undelete.
Rom, PI, could you please pass this on?
Everyone else, please obtain a cup of tea and a cream cake and just know that you are loved.
ETA: And it occurs to me, that even if you're not loved in some quarters, that's FINE! Not everyone has to like you, you do not have to like everyone! I piss some people off royally, they either ignore me or just stick around for the occasional benefit. Such is the way of life ...
If your strikethrough was in fact a genius cunning plan for lovely
pushdragon fic, IT'S ALREADY WORKED! And that is the only good thing I can say about it.If it's because someone in your RL is giving you crap over the time you commit to fandom, you just need to get a few addresses out there and my botanical poisons genius and PI's sweet, innocent face can finally work together for evil, er, good! yes, GOOD I tell you!
If it's because you need a break, just Turn Off the computer and step away for a few days, then come back without giving any of us heart failure.
It it's because you think that you have hurt anyone, then sit down, Aunty Brammers is going to pass you a cup of tea and have a quiet word. There is not a malicious bone in your hyperactive little Mousey body. Sometimes you don't get a story. DO you ever blame the author? No, you blame your response to it (which is EXACTLY the appropriate thing to do, some stories we are just not born to get). Sometimes a story scares you. Every time you have written "This story scares me!". Do you know how strong a writer feels to know that their words can do that?
Sometimes you overthink the relationship that you have with authors. This is what I thought when I read your first take on a story of mine: "Ooh, a sweet little cracky review! That's so ... not crack. This writer writes like it's crack, and it's actually deep and connecting and FUCK ME SHE CAN SEE THAT BENEATH BOUNDLESS SKIES IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT MY DYING CAT AND SHE HAS NEVER EVEN MET ME! HOW??"
Do you know how many other writers have had this exact conversation with me about your work? Because I can't tell you since I haven't asked them whether or not I can spill their beans, but it's all of them who matter. Everyone has actually read through and said "Fuck me, what looked like the red-cordialled ramblings of a muppet turns out to have poetry at its soul, and that poetry seeks to understand my work." They have said this even when you have said: "I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND!!"
So I am passing you a cream cake now, to go with the tea, and I am saying: you need to look beyond the red-cordial-fuelled ramblings of other muppets and see if you can find the poetry beneath them, because that's where the truth of it will lie. And some of those truths will say "Writing scares the bejesus out of me" and others will say "I wrote my soul into this, which scares me" and others will say "The world scares me at times, but this world I can create". And if you look at all of those truths, you'll see the core truth of writers: that all of us are scared of many things, and hurt by them, too, just as you are today. But what makes everything bearable and worthwhile is taking that fear and hurt and using them to do battle with the word and the world.
So could you please go back to doing that now? And no, you may not have another cream cake until you undelete.
Rom, PI, could you please pass this on?
Everyone else, please obtain a cup of tea and a cream cake and just know that you are loved.
ETA: And it occurs to me, that even if you're not loved in some quarters, that's FINE! Not everyone has to like you, you do not have to like everyone! I piss some people off royally, they either ignore me or just stick around for the occasional benefit. Such is the way of life ...
no subject
Why do people doubt they are loved? Is pure silliness!
no subject
you know...that's a really good question. unfortunately, i don't think it will ever be answered. for me...i don't know. it's not that i ever doubted that i was loved by you guys, i just felt (more than anything) that i had nothing to offer. that i had no real place here. a lot of that was based off of my fic. which one should never EVER do, but it's hard not to do. especially in this fandom. for god's sake, you HAVE to write for yourself if you choose to venture into HP. it's never said to your face, but sometimes, your worth is based off of your fame. if you have it or not. it sounds silly and ridiculous. and it is silly and ridiculous, but that's just how the cookie crumbles. and it effects some people harder than it does others. you can't dicatae emotions. and if you feel that you're not worth anything because of fic...then what's the point of staying? i just realized that i have to do all of this for me, like i said in my post today. i'm the only one that matters. i can't speak for FM, but i know bits and pieces of what happened while i was gone, so i have a good idea of what may caused this reaction. but then again, i could be completely off. all i know, is that she has to look within herself and find the strength to remember that it's only about her happiness here. and if she can deal with the fuckery of fandom, then she will eventually be happy again.
/end ramble...stupid champagne.
no subject
no subject
Forgive me for barging in, but you are a really nice person, "Aunty Brammers"
kind and caring and everyone should be valued. You're right--and thanks for saying it.
no subject
And this is one reason I'm not too distraught over the idea of leaving LJ if their evil plan to put ads in my journals goes ahead. It's too easy to get caught up in the fame game, especially when it can be so easily linked to numbers of comments or friends or other external counter.
I don't do fic, I am totally geeky in a dress up kind of way but the fame= love issue rears its head there too. At the moment going through a bit of a similar issue-but not. I don't really care if people don't like me, there are people I don't like. But please for the love of all the flying monkeys let it be for something real!
Anyway, yes I hope your mutual friend is able to get past whatever has happened. It's tough if you are soft hearted and wear your heart on your sleeve, and it sounds very much like she is and does.
no subject
(PS Minnie Cooper shoes! OMG! Why did you not tell me?? It's my own fault for not coming over, isn't it? Give my love to S!)
no subject
Yep. Your own fault. That's it. It's nothing to do with me not being a shoe fiend at all and so not really knowing anything about the place of the shoes.
I shall give S. your love, she is currently in need of it. Though she is being very sensible about it all.
Is it safe to friend this journal now? No cover going to be blown by mutual friends wondering who this new person is?
no subject
I'll sit down and write to S properly this week, I am shamefully tardy!