blamebrampton: 15th century woodcut of a hound (Default)
blamebrampton ([personal profile] blamebrampton) wrote2009-02-21 01:07 am

Young people today ...

I was on the train home from work last night. It was crowded and there were a gaggle of blonde teenagers in the doorway who clambered on at the stop before mine and arrayed themselves around the doors. They nattered about hair, nails, one of their boyfriends who was unfortunate in the pants department.

I looked at them, and began to mentally rehearse my comments that would see them move out of the way of all the disembarking passengers at my stop (for some reason, it's always me who says something first, I have come to accept my role in the daily commute). 'Girls,' I planned to say, 'could you let us out, please?' I would be kind and a little older-sounding, because I knew they were not bad girls, just flighty and young and unlikely to have the spatial awareness one develops with age.

As the train pulled into the station, the loudest blonde girl looked behind her, looked at the crowded vestibule, then turned to her friends. 'We should jump off to let people out and get back on!' she announced.

'Yeah, good plan!' said the second-loudest girl.

As the rest of us disembarked, it was like a row of nuns passing a group of schoolgirls who had just won an award for civic mindedness. Everyone had a little word for them: 'Thanks!' 'What lovely girls!' 'Cheers kids!'

They all beamed, and we jaded inner-city dwellers mistily agreed that there were still parents doing A Good Job out there.

Of course, there are also The Other Sort.

Tonight, we were walking up to Newtown (which, in summer, is akin to descending into a Dantean hell) when a Young Man in a Porsche 911 came screaming around the corner and revved his engine painfully so that he could catch up swiftly to the line of traffic doing 15mph 50 yards ahead.

'That,' said J, 'Is the car of someone who has nothing in his pants.'

'What about his driving?' our friend asked.

'It's like an exclamation point,' I said. 'No really, there's nothing in there and I have no idea what to do with it!'

We all nodded in agreement and then a man went by on a rattletrap bicycle.

'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. We nodded agreement again.

[identity profile] absynthedrinker.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I wonder what my car says about my "pants". Ah women! What a mystery.

Peace,
Bubba

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 02:46 pm (UTC)(link)
There's a typology that takes into account marque, model, year, colour, driver, driving style and environment to come up with a decision on whether the car says positive or negative things about the driver.

As a general rule, driving a car that you like or that is at least practical, and not being a twat about it, means it is impossible to go too wrong ;-)

[identity profile] bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
*g*

This totally made me smile.

And yay for the girls. Really. I've been working on teaching Ben how to "share the sidewalk" and wait for his turn on the escalator. Of course, he has trouble understanding why he can't stand on the seats of the subway in his wet boots so he can look out the window. We're working on kneeling. Oh, urban parenting!

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, he is still a toddler, he has some time up his sleeve before he starts Receiving Looks ;-)

I have been noticing good children and young people lately, they often belong to my friends and seem to be made by attention and explanation rather than the ranting that was more common in the 60s and 70s.

[identity profile] aldehyde.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
ehehe that's so amusing ;)

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
The girls were lovely, and as for the tosser, well, his car is probably the last valuable thing in his portfolio ...

[identity profile] piratesmile331.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:12 pm (UTC)(link)
*lol*

Mind you, there's a certain irony...

[identity profile] wemyss.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
... in one's favourite motorcar's being rhyming slang for 'tits', if one uses 'marque, model, year, colour, driver, driving style and environment' to measure manhood.

[identity profile] raitala.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. - I love little exchanges like this, when the banter just flows. Half the time they don't work when you try and tell someone else, but this is just really funny :D

[identity profile] catsintheattic.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
You know what I like best about your two little stories: they could have happened here, too. I felt completely at home when I visualised those two scenes.

Re: Mind you, there's a certain irony...

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
There's an Eartha Kitt car? Oooh!

Cheek.

[identity profile] wemyss.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Come, come, you know what I meant.

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I surround myself with clever and funny people so that I have better dinner party conversation. But since no one cooks these days, it all ends up here ;-)

Re: Cheek.

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm hoping it's a BMC, converted with a horsebox.

Though can you imagine the engine growl of the Eartha Kitt saloon?

[identity profile] blamebrampton.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Nice young folk and ghastly drivers in twatmobiles are universal!

[identity profile] catsintheattic.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
And isn't this just great? :-D

[identity profile] annafugazzi.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
As the rest of us disembarked, it was like a row of nuns passing a group of schoolgirls who had just won an award for civic mindedness. Everyone had a little word for them: 'Thanks!' 'What lovely girls!' 'Cheers kids!'
♥♥♥♥

Good kids give you such a warm glow, don't they?

'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. We nodded agreement again.
LOL!!!

We used to live around the corner from the Bad Kids high school - kids who had been kicked out of other high schools for being thugs, plus kids from a subsidized housing neighbourhood made up mostly of Somalian refugees. Many of them hung out in gangs outside the school, smoking & swearing (mostly white thug-children) or posturing & looking intimidating (Somalian kids). One day my six-year-old fell off his bike right in front of a large (10-15 kids) gang, while I was too far away to help right away, and it was incredibly moving to watch how every last one of those fierce-looking kids - mostly boys - dashed over immediately to see if he was OK, pick up his bike, and give him encouraging words. By the time I got there, he was drying his tears and getting ready to get back on, while one of the boys held his bike steady.

Never saw that school quite the same way again.

Oh and

[identity profile] annafugazzi.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I nearly forgot my favourite teen bus story! I'm riding on the bus, 1993 or so, when a group of kids gets on. About five or six of them, mostly boys, all in black or scruffywear, looking goonish. The city I was in had seven federal penitentiaries, and judging from their clothing and colourful vocabulary, these kids looked like they probably belonged to families of inmates. They start talking loudly about f'ing this and motherf'ing that, and I start wishing the bus driver would hurry the f up.

Then one of the boys mentions that he knows someone who just came out, and his parents are ripshit and have kicked him out. I brace myself for the inevitable fag jokes.

"Are you serious? Holy f. That's so f'ing stupid."

"Yeah, like, what a couple of f'ing losers. And, like, his mom's all 'How can you do this to me?'"

"Bitch."

"No shit. Like, Sure, bitch, he's decided to be gay just to piss you off."

"People need to get a f'ing life."

"Yeah, and some of his friends, like, won't even talk to him any more."

"Assholes."

"What, they're worried they're gonna get fag cooties?"

"Yeah, probably. It's like, Get over yourself! He's not gonna be f'ing you, you f'ing losers, so what the f does it matter who he wants to do it with, you know?"


I wanted to hug the whole surly, black-clad lot of them. Warm fuzzies for the rest of the day :) :) :)

[identity profile] old-enough.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
My husband rides a "rattletrap bicycle" around town every day. I've just passed your admiration on to him. ;)

[identity profile] symetric.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Moments like these really make me feel all glowy, like a two year old with a giant lolly. Yum.

I have a BMX - does it work with females too?

[identity profile] shiv5468.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
But what does car size say about ability to iron?

ENquiring minds want to know.

[identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee! I was amused by your thoughts as you prepared for the needed talk with the young girls. I've often wondered if others have such conversations running through their minds, preparing for what's to come (because I do it all the time, especially if it's going to be confrontational at all). :D

But I laughed heartily at your assessment of the Porsche driver. And the bicycle rider. Heh. Thanks for the smiles.

[identity profile] frances-veritas.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Can your recaps about what goes on in your daily routines always be like this?

♥ ♥ ♥

[identity profile] uminohikari.livejournal.com 2009-02-20 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
How long does the train stop? Because that just sounds like the girls would have trouble getting back on on time. >>

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