My brain = porridge

[blamebrampton]

I've not had a good memory since I was hit in the head by two tonnes of taxi in the '90s, it's like a library after a cyclone up there. So I rely on external sources.

Does anyone have any idea who I am talking about when I say that I vaguely remember the story of a French woman who was so disgusted at the treatment she was receiving in a meeting that she silently took the hat of the man who was oppressing her, squatted over it and urinated freely.

I had a vague idea it was Colette or Anais Nin, but Google is no help, and the brain? She is porridge. In fact this woman may not even be French. Though she is definitely a woman. Or was, she could be mouldering by now.

Anyone?

Comments

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

she could've wiped on the brim. or used his suit jacket.

i mean, she already urinated...class fell out the window already. :)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I believe she did it in a particularly scornful and ladylike manner, with no flashing.

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

Oh, see! Non-identical secret twins, then. I believe that urinating in a hat in a meeting room rules out ladylike. Unless she was unbelievably feminine and about the size of a spoon.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

There's no way you could be this short ;-)

I think that you could manage it with a brisk ladylike elan, if you were very good.

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

I think I've got about six inches on you, so I guess identical was right out even before the ladylike/unladylike schism came up. :)

I'm still not entirely convinced, but tell you what - you practice the art, and then you can prove it in person if we ever do meet. :D

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

When we end up meeting I will make you laugh with my stories of urinating the wild only to be chased by sundry wildlife. NB I did not wee on any nests/holes/animals, it's the sheer attractive force of my pale arse.

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

You probably won't be surprised to learn that toilet stories do in fact amuse me. I will reciprocate by acting out the spectacle that was going to wobbly outdoor port-a-potties in Victorian get-up so tight, stiff and voluminous that I had to remove my bodice and unlace the top half of the corset to be able to move enough to wipe properly.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA! We're twins again! Elizabethan, farthingale, disabled toilet, flipped the whole skirts into an inside-out cone and held up with one hand while the other thanked the saints that I had thought to use farthingale steel with a little give ...

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

:D I foresee hours and hours of entertainment, both for us and all the people who will be secretly listening with funnel ears!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

We could write a booklet: how to get into and out of big frocks, and what to do while wearing them.

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

Chapter 1: Things To Consider

If you are so stout as to require a particularly long corset in order to avoid unsightly lumps on the back, do consider lacing the corset with two sets of laces so that you need not undo the entire lacing in order to be able to reach behind you. Modesty forbids further elaboration on this point, but do take our advice - you will love us for it in due course.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I am laughing WITH you. WITH.

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

If you wish, but it is my firm belief that when it comes to toilet stories it's inherently permissible to laugh AT.

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

alright...no flashing? then that's pretty classy. :P

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

OTOH, if she managed without flashing she probably wasn't wearing any underwear. How do we rate that on the Classy & Ladylike scale? Hmm.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

French knickers can be pulled to one side. Er ... I am told.

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

so can g strings. and i know this for fact.

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

well...call me old fashion, but i don't understand how people (especially girls) can go without wearing underwear. especially if a short skirt or dress is the outfit of choice. so for me, no underwear is pretty low on the classy scale.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

At the very least, a 6.5 degree of difficulty!

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

depending on the garment, i'd say 7.

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

I think the urination is pretty classy, TBH! :D No-nonsense and to the point. Not ladylike, but it doesn't really have to be.

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

hmm...i see your argument, and i'll give you a point for the no-nonsense defense. ;P