blamebrampton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blamebrampton) wrote2012-08-25 01:10 am
blamebrampton) wrote2012-08-25 01:10 am
Entry tags:
Ah HA!
FANFICCERS!
Worried about lack of reviews?
Sad that everyone is reading everyone who is not you?
Depressed to see teenagers who don't know how to spell frottage and cannot accurately gauge the bendability of the average penis with thousands of ffnet reviews while your finely crafted and beautifully edited masterpieces are lucky to garner 23?
FRET NO LONGER!
THE SECRET IS REVEALED!
''People say it isn't good quality but you have to remember Fifty Shades started as fan fiction and as fan fiction you have to have action,'' Hayward says. ''You have to have a sex scene in every chapter because that's how you get your reviews. The amount of people who review per chapter shows popularity, that's how your ratings get up. In fan fiction every chapter has to give you something to keep you reading it.''
(From an SMH interview with Amanda Hayward, the really rather brilliant publisher of the not as brilliant book.)
So there you go! You lot who've been telling me to porn it up were right all along! (I mean, obviously I'm not going to, but that's for the best. The Bad Sex Awards longlist is already inches thick.)
I thoroughly recommend the article, which is interesting and respectfully written, without being actually nice about bad writing. It includes this gem from The London Review of Books' Andrew O'Hagan, which I had previously missed: ''It's not that Fifty Shades of Grey and E.L. James's other tie-me-up-tie-me-down spankbusters read as if feminism never happened: they read as if women never even got the vote.''
Worried about lack of reviews?
Sad that everyone is reading everyone who is not you?
Depressed to see teenagers who don't know how to spell frottage and cannot accurately gauge the bendability of the average penis with thousands of ffnet reviews while your finely crafted and beautifully edited masterpieces are lucky to garner 23?
FRET NO LONGER!
THE SECRET IS REVEALED!
''People say it isn't good quality but you have to remember Fifty Shades started as fan fiction and as fan fiction you have to have action,'' Hayward says. ''You have to have a sex scene in every chapter because that's how you get your reviews. The amount of people who review per chapter shows popularity, that's how your ratings get up. In fan fiction every chapter has to give you something to keep you reading it.''
(From an SMH interview with Amanda Hayward, the really rather brilliant publisher of the not as brilliant book.)
So there you go! You lot who've been telling me to porn it up were right all along! (I mean, obviously I'm not going to, but that's for the best. The Bad Sex Awards longlist is already inches thick.)
I thoroughly recommend the article, which is interesting and respectfully written, without being actually nice about bad writing. It includes this gem from The London Review of Books' Andrew O'Hagan, which I had previously missed: ''It's not that Fifty Shades of Grey and E.L. James's other tie-me-up-tie-me-down spankbusters read as if feminism never happened: they read as if women never even got the vote.''
no subject
I'm very lucky in that I was raised by bonkers people who had a lot of very correct ideas. I'll never forget being a young girl the year after Dad died and just being in a miserable funk and moaning bitterly about something inconsequential and saying 'It's no wonder people just kill themselves!' (which was a melodramatic turn of phrase, not any sort of intention) and my grandmother saying, 'I always wondered about that, because those people are almost never the problem. Surely the better plan would be to murder the people who ARE the problem, and then you'd have a few years in a nice psychiatric asylum to sort everything out, come out feeling much better and with one less evil bastard in the world?'
Alas, my charm mostly works on old men with dogs or large vegetables, and you would end up rather short!
no subject
*snicker* okay, not quite my target group, but considering the guys I like ARE considered old men coughtumblrcough and I can choose between dogs or large vegetables (was that a euphemism) and I already don't feel tall - let the transfusion commence.