blamebrampton | Fuck me ...

Fuck me ...

People often ask 'why do you stay in Australia when all of the fauna and some of the flora is lethal?'* This is the wrong question.

The right question is: 'What the hell are you thinking staying in a country that has new fire danger warnings like this??!!'

ETA: And just in case there is any suspicion of this being another example of my love for hyperbole, I give you the news page the image came from. Alas, I've not found a copy of the TV advert explaining the Catastrophic level on YouTube yet, but it is along the lines of 'RUN! RUN! RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!' Which I have to say is wholly reasonable under the circumstances.

* This is not strictly true. The sheep, as Terry Pratchett accurately observed, are quite safe. Most wallabies, kangaroos and koalas are perfectly harmless. Many of the birds are actually pleasant! But steer well clear of the cute little octopuses.

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What I want to know is who is going to have time to go and reset all the fire-warning signs when we reach catastrophic? They're all manual in the bush, so some bastard has to go move the arrow. *sigh*

Oh, and don't be fooled, sheep actually have excellent powers of facial recognition, and can give a nasty head butt. And if you've ever seen a bull roo take on dogs (and win) or tried to handle an angry koala ... well, it can all end in tears, that's all I'm saying.

:)

btw - you still thinking of visiting? I'm just wanting to make sure I'm keeping the right dates open, assuming they are still in demand.

NB 'Most'.

Yes, I was wondering the same thing. However, the new siren system should probably have that covered. I think the TV ads are too nice, though. I would be doing something along the lines of 'If you see this alert, or hear this siren, grab the kids, the pets, the photo albums, follow police directions out of the danger zone and do not stop until you reach Tasmania!'

PS Yes!

I wonder that myself every time I drive past one. Who is the person that changes it to read High? Now at catastrophic? Sheesh.

I probably should not be as amused by that as I really am, considering the topic matter and seriousness, however... I'm truly find that sign amusing.

You are not the only person who will be making jokes about this. It is Australia, after all ;-)

Hey, we get fires down here sometimes! Although, this summer (after a winter that saw something like 3x the average rainfall for the period) you're probably pretty safe coming down here. I imagine that all we'll be able to manage is a fitful smoulder...

Yes, I am banking on your verdant state remaining green through the coming months. And we shall have pictures of it at the start of our news broadcasts and we will all look at it and sigh longingly.

*grin*

This is true, we can smoulder with the best, though that doesn't of course stop the idiots from trying to set alight all the grass verges.

I'm all for rain, and I love that it's so green and all, but really it's coming up middle october, can we please have SOME sun??

We had some the other day! I got washing dry on the line for the first time in months, it was very exciting!

Wow! It says something when 'High Risk' is only the second option.

Funny sign, not so funny for you guys I suppose.

Yeah, Australia does conflagration spectacularly well, alas.

Wow, I hadn't heard about that yet. Seems like a good idea: every progressive warning sign needs a "Run Away!" setting!

Seriously, though, this looks like a surprisingly sensible strategy. "Extreme" just means extreme likelyhood of fire, whereas the new option adds the touch of we can't stop this one that has sadly been proven necessary. The alert levels and siren that go along with it are pretty much what the far North has in place for Cyclone warnings, so not too much extra confusion.

Yes, all jokes aside, it is a sensible setting and the TV adverts were clear and logical in their 'You can fight this. You can fight this if you have special equipment, just let go of the idea you can fight this' progression. (though they do have a clear RUN! subtext)

wow! Sometimes I'm real glad I live in an area where the biggest catastrophes one can imagine are storms that take down trees. Actually my state (Brandenburg) is the one with the highest danger of fire warnings, but human life has never been threatened by them.

What do octupuses do? Don't some people eat them?

The octopus brammers is refering to is a blue ring octopus. If you touch it you can end up paralysed from the poison that's if it doesn't kill you. They are tiny and have pretty blue rings all over their body to attract they prey I think, and of course idiotic humans who don't know better.

OMG it looks so cute! And they're so tiny! And pretty! And so deadly!

"Tetrodotoxin poisoning can result in the victim being fully aware of his surroundings but unable to breathe. Because of the paralysis that occurs they have no way of signalling for help or any way of indicating distress."
That scared the shit out of me.

Umm, where I live, we have some spiders whose bites are a bit painful. And, um, lots of dog shit.

Brissy's right. They sit around in shallow rockpools looking sweet, waving little tentacles, waiting until you get close enough and then taking you down ;-)

I looked up on pictures, and I can hardly wrap my mind around such a small and pretty creature being so deadly...

And the venom: "victim being fully aware of his surroundings but unable to breathe" -> stuff of nightmares!

This is not strictly true. The sheep, as Terry Pratchett accurately observed, are quite safe. Most wallabies, kangaroos and koalas are perfectly harmless. Many of the birds are actually pleasant! But steer well clear of the cute little octopuses.

LOL you forgot the teeny tiny deadly jellyfish (irukanji or however the hell you spell it) I live a block from the beach if you can call mud flats a beach. There was a blue ring octopus that was found at my local beach when I was in primary school. One of my BFF's used to do surf life saving at a local beach about 20 mins away and they had an encounter with one of the teeny tiny deadly jelly's.

That fire warning system needs to be matched with one for cyclones here in QLD. Catatrophic fir warnings YIKES!!!!

I didn't forget them, but I can never remember how to spell it! And yes, given the gruesomeness of recent storm years, you definitely need one! Sadly.

I suppose that unless you've grown up around gum/eucalyptus, it is hard to understand just how dangerous that stuff is on a hot day during a drought. My husband describes it as being comparable to a month-old Christmas tree soaked in lighter fluid, which strikes me as being quite apt.

He's quite right, it's utterly bonkers. There are several types of forest here that are described by technical terms beginning with 'dry'. In fact, my one word description for mainland Australia is also 'dry' ;-).

Especially when teamed with dried-out bracken fern undergrowth. There's a district, near where I grew up, called Tinderbox...

I think your commissioner is covering ALL bases, including a possible apocalypse.

"Catastrophic".

Um.

Well then!

*scared*

Ok - sheep I'll give you, but I still think kangaroos can be pretty nasty - especially when coming through your windscreen at speed..... and they have big pointy claws.....

Phew, I'm relieved about the sheep. :-)

*titters*

I'd be scared of your huge freakin' SPIDERS!

It's not the big ones you have to worry about!
*wibbles*

♥

(or "I'm half dead with exhaustion so I can't formulate a witty response but this made me smile and I like you and I wanted to say something")

I personally love your sense of humor. :P I don't think I've laughed so hard for an LJ post before.

And I love your stories. :DD HP Slash~~~~

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