Fuck me ...

People often ask 'why do you stay in Australia when all of the fauna and some of the flora is lethal?'* This is the wrong question.

The right question is: 'What the hell are you thinking staying in a country that has new fire danger warnings like this??!!'


ETA: And just in case there is any suspicion of this being another example of my love for hyperbole, I give you the news page the image came from. Alas, I've not found a copy of the TV advert explaining the Catastrophic level on YouTube yet, but it is along the lines of 'RUN! RUN! RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!' Which I have to say is wholly reasonable under the circumstances.


* This is not strictly true. The sheep, as Terry Pratchett accurately observed, are quite safe. Most wallabies, kangaroos and koalas are perfectly harmless. Many of the birds are actually pleasant! But steer well clear of the cute little octopuses.

Fuck me ...

People often ask 'why do you stay in Australia when all of the fauna and some of the flora is lethal?'* This is the wrong question.

The right question is: 'What the hell are you thinking staying in a country that has new fire danger warnings like this??!!'


ETA: And just in case there is any suspicion of this being another example of my love for hyperbole, I give you the news page the image came from. Alas, I've not found a copy of the TV advert explaining the Catastrophic level on YouTube yet, but it is along the lines of 'RUN! RUN! RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!' Which I have to say is wholly reasonable under the circumstances.


* This is not strictly true. The sheep, as Terry Pratchett accurately observed, are quite safe. Most wallabies, kangaroos and koalas are perfectly harmless. Many of the birds are actually pleasant! But steer well clear of the cute little octopuses.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!

Happy birthday alex_s9 ! I hope it is filled with gifts and cake and excellence!

And happy birthday dearest vaysh , it was such a joy to meet you last year and I wanted to write you something good, but am still, er, writing you something else for that other thing which you are kindly not nagging me about. So, if you can, forgive me for the following.

In the first decades that followed, Sam would sometimes travel out of the Shire. Never for long, you couldn't trust anyone with the cabbages, and there was an awful trend towards powdery mildew with the roses near the back of the house, where the elm had grown out to shade them. But Rosie and the children knew how to mix up a milk and chamomile spray, and Elanor and little Bilbo loved nothing more than to string elaborate nets to guard the veg against moths.

So he would travel.

He rode through the woods of Ithilien, where Legolas had raised trees that laced their branches through the sky. They sat under those branches at night and listened to the leaves as they spoke to each other. And he found peace there.

He walked through the Glittering Caves, and listened to their lord describe eleven different types of quartz. And then Gimli brought out good mead and better songs and they laughed through several days. And he found cheer there.

Finally he made his way to Minas Tirith, and sat in the hall of Elessar.

'Samwise Gardner,' the king said, sitting beside him. And the man who had once been a Ranger passed a plate of fruit to Sam and his daughters sang in the hall, and the old comrades listened and did not speak, because they did not need to say anything.

On the third day of his visit, they walked through the city, and after a little while, Sam recognised his surroundings. 'This is where Mr Frodo rested after Mordor!' he exclaimed.

'Yes, and where you sat watching over him,' said Elessar, smiling to himself.

'I knew he'd be all right,' Sam assured him.

'He had your love to see him through.'

'That he did, Mister Aragon.'

They walked together through the White City's streets for some half hour before Sam spoke again.

'It was never what you think, you know.'

'I think it was a close and loving friendship, Sam.'

'Well, yes, yes it was that. But not the other. He snored something terrible, you know. And under that nice hair, his feet had shocking bunions.'

Elessar did not laugh. For ten minutes, he did not laugh. Sam appreciated this. After ten minutes, the king cleared his throat. 'But Merry and Pippin?' he asked.

'Oh yes,' said Sam. 'Like rabbits.'

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!

Happy birthday alex_s9 ! I hope it is filled with gifts and cake and excellence!

And happy birthday dearest vaysh , it was such a joy to meet you last year and I wanted to write you something good, but am still, er, writing you something else for that other thing which you are kindly not nagging me about. So, if you can, forgive me for the following.

In the first decades that followed, Sam would sometimes travel out of the Shire. Never for long, you couldn't trust anyone with the cabbages, and there was an awful trend towards powdery mildew with the roses near the back of the house, where the elm had grown out to shade them. But Rosie and the children knew how to mix up a milk and chamomile spray, and Elanor and little Bilbo loved nothing more than to string elaborate nets to guard the veg against moths.

So he would travel.

He rode through the woods of Ithilien, where Legolas had raised trees that laced their branches through the sky. They sat under those branches at night and listened to the leaves as they spoke to each other. And he found peace there.

He walked through the Glittering Caves, and listened to their lord describe eleven different types of quartz. And then Gimli brought out good mead and better songs and they laughed through several days. And he found cheer there.

Finally he made his way to Minas Tirith, and sat in the hall of Elessar.

'Samwise Gardner,' the king said, sitting beside him. And the man who had once been a Ranger passed a plate of fruit to Sam and his daughters sang in the hall, and the old comrades listened and did not speak, because they did not need to say anything.

On the third day of his visit, they walked through the city, and after a little while, Sam recognised his surroundings. 'This is where Mr Frodo rested after Mordor!' he exclaimed.

'Yes, and where you sat watching over him,' said Elessar, smiling to himself.

'I knew he'd be all right,' Sam assured him.

'He had your love to see him through.'

'That he did, Mister Aragon.'

They walked together through the White City's streets for some half hour before Sam spoke again.

'It was never what you think, you know.'

'I think it was a close and loving friendship, Sam.'

'Well, yes, yes it was that. But not the other. He snored something terrible, you know. And under that nice hair, his feet had shocking bunions.'

Elessar did not laugh. For ten minutes, he did not laugh. Sam appreciated this. After ten minutes, the king cleared his throat. 'But Merry and Pippin?' he asked.

'Oh yes,' said Sam. 'Like rabbits.'