blamebrampton

It is here! (Or, it was, the other night in many place. Shush.)

The Australian commentators make me weep, even though I like them both as people. The Germans are back, same three, same crimes against fashion in the frocks. I am going to take it as a complex German joke that I lack the cultural references for. Oh, look! An shout out to the Australian audience! Thanks, Germany! We love you as a country even if these presenters are a little disturbing. Thanks for settling Adelaide and bringing a decent wine tradition to this country a hundred years before the Italians arrived!

HURRAH! The comedic presenter is thwacking squinty man presenter in the face with her hair! At last! And now he is singing, last year's winning song. Off to gchat with treacle_tartlet . He is so squinty, he is like Leonardo di Caprio's mean German cousin. Look, these presenters have not won me over, but I will give them points for being hardworking and willing to turn their hand to whatever is needed.

Apparently the stadium was a football field until the other month and has been converted. Pretty impressive stuff!

treacle_tartlet  has just suggested that Roy and HG should commentate next year for Australia, which would be a distinct improvement, but will mean nothing for most of you. And we're off! 

Finland to open. Look, many of my fave things come from Finland. I love its complex language, its Moomins, its islands and its children's songs about little piggies. I loves its people, its historic costumes, its capital and its political pragmatism. I do not love this song. The singer is very sweet, but I am coming out in my Presence of Earnest Folk Music rash. Any moment now the Greenham Common flashbacks will begin. Thank goodness this is only 3 minutes long. He makes me want to eat whale meat just to piss him off.

( 24 more countries and then the vote of doom! )

Right! Was having a hugely fun adventure road trip with a friend yesterday, so this is a delayed recap of a delayed broadcast and I apologise in advance for the typos, no time for edits! Best get on with it or I will run out of time before the finals tonight. THANK YOU so much to everyone who has been putting their live recaps and responses behind cuts. You are all FABULOUS!

Tonight's presenter outfits are less scary than the other night's, though bright yellow is always a Brave Choice. Still, not so bad on her, unlike most of us. Blah blah blah voting, finals, at least the man with the squinty face hasn't said anything misogynistic yet. OH! Spoke too soon. If I were there and being called a hot chick, I would kick his legs out from under him and correct that to hot ninja chick, thank you very much.

As always, the voting begins before the actual performances. Ah, European democracy at its finest.

( The performances )

I was going to write a serious post about the lovely things that have arrived in the post this week -- leochi , raitala , pingrid  and neep1 , you are all champions, but that post will have to hold off until I find my camera cable, probably Sunday.

In the meantime, it's Eurovision weekend. Let me start by giving everyone a massive kiss, because we are on delay here and you have all been so fabulous about cutting spoilers. PLEASE keep it up for another couple of days! 

The semis are my fave part of Eurovision because you can catch the crap before it is all weeded out. But the presenters can be special. Three this year, one woman whose frock seems designed to remind the world Germany gave us the Christmas Tree, one woman whose frock suggests Germany also gave us the microfibre dishcloth, and one chap who seems to be there to offend just about everyone. German humour may not translate well, or he may just be a twunt.

But there is a mercifully small amount of banter, and it's onto the songs!

Poland first, and I think this exchange between Treacle and me sums up the entry:
Treacle: ALL WHITE OUTFITS! TAKE A DRINK!
Me: Do not mix shiny leotards with uplighting: it makes it look as though their vaginas are glowing!
Very pretty crew, lots of sparkly bits on the costumes, hit all the notes. Meh.

The Norwegian entry is in a mix of English and Swahili. Of course it is. Catchy tune and very good looking group, though, so I will keep my fingers crossed they go through! There is a lot of arms in the air choreography for this one, but I am from the 70s and 80s, so I'm down with that. Actually, this song is a bit awesome. I kind of love Norway this year, and not just for all my Norwegian friends.

( It goes on, and on, and on ... )