Beacause there's not enough crazy in my day ...

[blamebrampton]

The trains were thrown awry by a fatality on my line, and, warned by Mr Brammers, I jumped in the first cab I found in North Sydney. I should have waited for the second.

I was willing to grant him that Australia's coal reliance and export is akin to environmental terrorism, though I did point out that the former Prime Minister, who he avowedly missed, had gutted the tax relief given to alternative energy research, engineering and production in this country, without which the sector could not compete with the coal industry.

I was even willing to grant that English people had invaded half the world and were guilty of genocide and certainly overlooking indigenous populations in many places. Though I made it clear the he was wrong to equate Australia and New Zealand, as the latter had the Treaty of Waitangi from the mid-19th century and long periods of war with the Maori, which, while not great, were certainly not the ignoring he was talking about.

But then he confidently told me that the war in Afghanistan was in response to Dick Cheney's company not receiving a contract from the Afghani government, and because of the Jews.

'No, that's just madness. It was in response to the attacks on the Twin Towers, Pentagon and so on.'

'Ah!' he exclaimed, pleased to have caught me in a common error. 'But those attacks were caused by Dick Cheney!'

'I'm not a fan of Cheney in the least, but I am quite certain that he had nothing to do with it and Mohamed Atta had a lot.'

'But no one can say that.'

'Yes, they can. There is ample documentary evidence, including Atta's own voice in radio transmissions from one of the planes.'

'Ah yes, but people can be bought.'

'I'm sure he was, by Al Qaeda, through ideology if not through money.'

'No, no, that is simply not correct. He was bought by Dick Cheney's company, with Jewish money. That is why the Jews stayed home in New York that day.'

'But that's simply not true, either. There were significant Jewish casualties among the dead and the rates of people staying home from work in both towers were normal for an average workday. This is extensively documented with actual documents, not websites, you know.'

'You do not understand how these things work. If we accept that it was Mohamed Atta, then we must consider what drove him to that point. He would have been standing in a pub, drinking quietly, and he would have been approached by someone who offered him more money than he could ever earn to go to his family. That's how the Americans work. What do you think of that?'

'I think that if he was having a drink in a pub, he wasn't a very good Muslim, and that doesn't fit with the picture of Atta that was established after his death.'

'Ah, but you cannot trust the Muslims, they say one thing and do another.'

'The radical ones generally don't drink, though.'

He pulled the cab to a halt in Blessed Erskineville. 'You seem very sceptical of what I have to say, but I assure you, I have twenty people a day in this cab and I hear many things.'

'Yes,' I said as I paid him. 'But isn't it possible that some of those people are quite mad?'

'I have an extensive education, but in this country I am forced to drive a cab.'

'Well, now here I finally agree with you, it is shameful how few qualifications from international universities are recognised in Australia. I am very sorry and hope that things improve for you.'

'Let me prove to you that I am an authority.' He dug through his wallet and handed over an identification card, with his degrees listed after his name.

As I looked at his identification, I nodded in understanding. All became clear. He was an engineer.

Comments

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

*splurts water at the screen*

Oh wow... That last line... Priceless!

[droolfangrrl.livejournal.com]

"'I think that if he was having a drink in a pub, he wasn't a very good Muslim, "

bhahahah

[curia-regis.livejournal.com]

I would have told him to please stop talking by the second line. I dislike chatty cab drivers.

Least it would have been an amusing cab ride! :p

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

:D Oh, to have your presence of mind when confronted with the crazy! Absolutely hilarious. :D

[franalan.livejournal.com]

Us engineers aren't all bad! Just slightly insane for the most part...

[alex-s9.livejournal.com]

OMG, you've been pulled out of our world into some bizarre contemporary Australian remake of "The Conspiracy Theory". And you've got to play Julia Roberts' part. Owww!

[not-an-elf.livejournal.com]

All became clear. He was an engineer.....

Totally understandable really.
We have the power to mess with your water, sewage, food, power, communications, transport etc. etc. etc....
And then you try to tell us that life is not black and white!

Seriously!
What did you expect?

[bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com]

What a debate! lol

Alas, the only time I'm ever in a cab is when I'm taking Ben to the doctor. I only get parenting advice from my cabbies. *eye roll so large you can probably see it in Australia*

[ladyjaneva.livejournal.com]

That was certainly a very interesting article.

Thinking a society can be made to function like a clockwork, huh? Dream on, dream on...

How did you manage to talk with the cab driver? I never have the patience.

[thenotoriousso4.livejournal.com]

My grandfather is/was an engineer here in Oklahoma, and I tell you it makes perfect sense. I've always thought he was a little off his rocker, and definitely a sucker for extreme thinking and conspiracy theories.

And he ends every argument with, "I know the truth! I'm an engineer!"

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

Oh the humanity. *sporfles*

I had to read this aloud to the partner chick, and she was laughing as well.

Thank you for making my morning just that bit better.

[hollyxu.livejournal.com]

From the land of orange-juice-on-the-keyboard, Brammers, you are awesome. :D

I suppose being young and glued to my iPod does have some advantages to avoiding the crazy. But how do I get rid of creepy leering old men?

[melusinahp.livejournal.com]

*fizzles with rage*

[tsosh.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! The last line is priceless. I wonder if he knows about that research...

Do you watch Southpark? Season 10 was actually quite good. They had a funny episode about conspiracy theories - Mystery of the Urinal Deuce.

I heard the old "The Jews stayed home that day" silliness so many times... Of course those people can check and see the Jewish names on the casualties list, but why confusing themselves with facts.

First 9/11, then Harry Potter, and now aphrodisiac chewing gums. What will those evil!Jews do next?
*sits at work and plots world domination by paperclips*

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

I think your conversation wasn't that out of the ordinary at all. I really think that most of the western world is in absolute denial that your cab driver represents the prevailing opinion of westerners, 9/11, Jews, and America.

[ant-queen.livejournal.com]

I was about to defend engineers on behalf of the CPD, but then I remembered that he did recently provide advice on how best to utilise C4 when locked in a sealed room with a metal door, so point taken.

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

uh-oh. I suddenly feel endangered.