blamebrampton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blamebrampton) wrote2013-03-14 11:51 pm
blamebrampton) wrote2013-03-14 11:51 pm
Entry tags:
Tips for mothers on shared cycleways
* The little diagrams suggesting that you keep left are there, in fact, to suggest you keep left.
* When you choose to ignore them and walk in the middle of the path, do not look hugely surprised when people ring their bells to encourage you to look up from texting as you walk and make you aware of the oncoming bicycle.
* On becoming aware of the oncoming bicycle and noticing that your youngest child is on the right hand side of the path, at a point level with the cyclist, who is successfully negotiating a passing manoeuvre at low speed, do not shriek to the child, encouraging the wee lass to turn around and into the bike.
* On witnessing the cyclist performing an heroic avoidance effort while travelling uphill on a loaded bike with a confused and unpredictable toddler in the vicinity, do not run in front of the bike.
* On finding your toddler wholly avoided despite your best efforts to have her killed, do not call your other daughter to you, especially when she is six and very likely to run in front of the still-moving cyclist, who has just had to veer to the opposite side of the path to avoid ploughing into you.
* When the tried-beyond-endurance cyclist suggests that was less than optimal all round, do not open your mouth unless it is to apologise. Should the first words out of your mouth be 'You should have …', do not be surprised when the cyclist interrupts with: 'Mowed you down, I know' and rides off.
* When you choose to ignore them and walk in the middle of the path, do not look hugely surprised when people ring their bells to encourage you to look up from texting as you walk and make you aware of the oncoming bicycle.
* On becoming aware of the oncoming bicycle and noticing that your youngest child is on the right hand side of the path, at a point level with the cyclist, who is successfully negotiating a passing manoeuvre at low speed, do not shriek to the child, encouraging the wee lass to turn around and into the bike.
* On witnessing the cyclist performing an heroic avoidance effort while travelling uphill on a loaded bike with a confused and unpredictable toddler in the vicinity, do not run in front of the bike.
* On finding your toddler wholly avoided despite your best efforts to have her killed, do not call your other daughter to you, especially when she is six and very likely to run in front of the still-moving cyclist, who has just had to veer to the opposite side of the path to avoid ploughing into you.
* When the tried-beyond-endurance cyclist suggests that was less than optimal all round, do not open your mouth unless it is to apologise. Should the first words out of your mouth be 'You should have …', do not be surprised when the cyclist interrupts with: 'Mowed you down, I know' and rides off.
no subject
I got tired of constantly being the one to duck and dip away from the oblivious ones on the crowded sidewalks in Manhattan, so I tried to just walk in a straight line, but so many people were going to bump me that I had to revert to defensive walking.
In my mind, I am still perfecting the defensive move for the next time someone walks right into me that will flail my arms perfectly so as to fling a text-walkers phone up in the air to crash and break on the sidewalk or street while still remaining the offended party. *crosses fingers*
no subject
The good thing about being middle-aged is that I have no problem with shouting at people these days. 'Heads up!', 'Watch what you're doing!' and 'Oi! Eyes!' are frequently passing my lips. And, when cycling, 'USE YOUR EYES!' at people who step out without looking. I like to think of it as road safety education rather than being a mad old lady …