I HAVE A SOLUTION!

[blamebrampton]

Right. Australia has decided to stride boldly back into the 1950s and is following Britain's lead in electing a hung parliament.

It's not certain yet, but it's looking very likely. But I have a solution!

The ALP will obviously seek to hold onto their two friendly independents, and can make a sincere offer to the Green who has won the seat of Melbourne, so they only need one more person.

Obviously, they should look across the parliament and extend the hand of friendship to one who is their natural compatriot, one who holds many of their values dear, one who would be willing to listen to a friendly voice after years of suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous party members.

And it's not as though he would be hard to woo. Give him a good spot on the front bench and he'd shine. He's smart, he's charismatic, he has fabulous hair. In fact, given the inevitable bloodbath that will occur in the Labor caucus after this disaster, why not skip past the bitter recriminations and internecine factional battles and just offer him the top job as an irresistible incentive to change his colours? 

Yes, Australians, you know what I'm saying. Our next Labor Prime Minister -- Malcolm Turnbull.

Comments

[brissygirl.livejournal.com]

Wasn't he a labor MP before he defected to the Liberals?

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's an outrageous calumny! He just used to hang with Labor-type people, they were casual friends, there was no sex!

[dharawal.livejournal.com]

I knew Malcolm way back when, way way back when, before he startled me completely by turning up as a liberal one day.

There was sex involved 8-)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose the Young Labor girls are generally quite hot.

Unless it wasn't the girls, in which case I want DETAILS!

[dharawal.livejournal.com]

*grin*

No, though Malcolm was VERY dashing and quite alluring and staggeringly intelligent, he only swung one way.

Oh and he's also an awesome kisser too 8-)

[lokifan]

WELL WELL WELL. That's both awesome and bewildering. /stranger commenting on this

Of course, I am irrestibly reminded of the Draco = Turnbull comparison!

[wivern.livejournal.com]

I think that could work.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

The only downside I can see is that Kevin would pull his stitches he'd be laughing so hard.

[emmaco.livejournal.com]

The perfect solution! Kerry hasn't mentioned it as a possiblity yet, but it can be a matter of time...

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

If only I could tweet him!

[ms-kilian.livejournal.com]

Yes! Salvation is at hand!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

At least satirists are well placed!

[(Anonymous)]

Ohgodpleaseyes.

I have been looking forward to reading your election coverage all evening. ;)

I even forwarded your HP summary to my parents, because my mum is a nerd and I knew she'd enjoy it almost as much as I did.

- Jen.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Sorry it's so minimal, I am far too knackered to write much. Later!

[lyras.livejournal.com]

*cries* It is kind of ironic, after the UK election. What are the chances of two hung parliaments?

(Not that I particularly liked Labor, either. But Tony Abbott makes me go >:( .)

[chantefable.livejournal.com]

I... don't understand. Is Draco going to be Prime Minister? Is this going to affect Australia's ecosystem? Is anyone thinking about the koalas?

(Priorities, priorities...)

[chantefable.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I'm trying to follow the election coverage and I don't understand a thing. The logic behind the process escapes me. Why can't things be settled like in the early Middle Ages, with Crabbe and Hermione having a swordfight? (Makes great press. Also, quicker.)

[emerald-dragon8.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA this is so true. Malcolm Turnbull is the most left-wing person in politics, isn't that sad?

This election is so bloody depressing, I'm going to sleep and hopefully I'll wake up and it will all be a horrible dream.

On the plus side, I got to vote. And I'm in a labor seat which stayed labor. On the downside, I actually don't like our labor candidate, he's creepy and I was hoping the Greens woman would get it. Unlikely, but still...

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

That's novel - of course, I think we'd be better off putting you in charge, quite frankly. At least behind the scenes. You could be the puppet master.

*giggles tiredly*

I'm past caring - that we're even in this situation right now is sad beyond words.

[ant-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh please let that happen. Let this be Malcolm's sweet revenge on Tony and the other right wing nutjobs in the Libs that voted him out. This would make me smile a lot.

Just think, a threesome of Malcolm, Julia, and Bob. It would be gorgeous...

[quatrefoil.livejournal.com]

Two friendly independents?

Who?

[drbunsen.livejournal.com]

Well, Wilkie would be one, probably; I thought the other three were all staunch Tories?

[quatrefoil.livejournal.com]

1. I don't think it's by any means certain that Wilkie will get that seat - it depends on Greens preferences, and they issued an open how to vote card so no-one really knows whether their preferences will flow to Labor or Wilkie first.

2. I think it would be a mistake to assume that Wilkie will necessarily support Labor - it's probably best to think of him in terms of being a Democrat and they're a mixed bunch.

3. The other independents are not particularly staunchly conservative - they left the National Party, at least two of them loathe Barnaby Joyce (see today's SMH interview with Bob Katter) and their views on the National Broadband Network, health and the tentatively proposed eastern seabord rail link are much closer to Labor's policies.

[remuslives23.livejournal.com]

I'm going to emigrate. It's the only solution if my choices for PM are Tony Abbott, Julia Gillard and Malcolm Turnbull.

*spins globe and picks a country*

[pushdragon.livejournal.com]

*weeps inconsolably*

Have you seen the AEC's latest stats? They have the tally at 70 Labor, 72 Liberal, 1 Green, 5 in doubt, and 2 Independent. Both "Independents" are in NSW.

So you were on the right track before. Looks like Bob Katter's electorate has seceded.