Things I do better than Vladimir Putin ...

[blamebrampton]

Sing, and swim.

Seriously, that was a rubbish butterfly stroke. It's possible I would be a better leader of Russia, too, but since we have no basis for comparison, and I know only four words of Russian, he can have that one.

And while I am mocking people meanly, I found this gem in US Better Homes and Gardens, September 2008 edition:
What is a simmer?
"Simmer" is a just-for-fun term that has sprung up in the food world to mean cooking in a bold-flavored sauce. Think of it as braising with a twist. It's too new to be in dictionaries, but you'll see it used on restaurant menus ...

I had to actually hunt out one of my American dictionaries to check that this is as stupid as I thought it was. It listed simmer, gave its classic definitions (one of which covers the use the BH&G writer was aiming at) and noted the word comes from the mid 17th century. I am tempted to write to the editorial team to check that someone was laughed at for letting this through, but live in fear that no one was. Do not take your facts from mass market media, my friends! It is often written by gibbons!

Comments

[treacle-tartlet.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAH! I laugh because the only other option is to weep for the future of humanity.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's true. So sad ...

[lal111.livejournal.com]

Lol, you'd be much better in ruling Russia.
Just about anyone would.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Well, my popularity as a benevolent despot would be bought through public offerings of chocolate every weekend, but I am not certain that Moscow is ready for my sudden influx of public transport and car-free months ...

[grangrangran.livejournal.com]

Well, with the way most means of public transport are affected by just the tiniest bit of snow, I'm not sure one could blame them... Though I always figured the Russian kept Putin around for his reassuring touches of despotism, not his competence. I'm sure no one would mind that as a supplement?

[anthraxia.livejournal.com]

Actually, Moscow has some of the best public transport in the world; it's underground system is justly famous (not just for hiding away from nuclear explosions.)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's famous for being beautiful and cheap, but has also been the site of terrorist attacks and is not well insulated from the weather, leading to sweltering or freezing conditions throughout the year. It's also not patronised by the middle class, which is why Moscow traffic jams are now among the worst in the world. Comfortable Mercedes buses with battering rams for any cars who ignore my car-freeness, that's the ticket!

[shiv5468.livejournal.com]

Simmer? Really? Rolls eyes


Have you seen that poor wounded Stuart Broad is joining Test Match Special as tea boy?

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Oh that is just cruel ... the Australian coverage has Ghastly Shane Warne. *Weeps*

[shiv5468.livejournal.com]

Smirk

Did you see that warnie had pulled Liz hurley?!!!!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's all too appalling for words.

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

That's too funny. "a just-for-fun term". Hahahaha!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It actually explains quite a lot about editorial comments I have received from Americans over the years if we assume that some of them really and truly believe we just make up random words when we feel like it.

Happily, I can contrast this numpty with my darlings Strunk & White, and remind myself that most Americans are not muppets!

[anna-wing.livejournal.com]

Simmer. "Just for fun". Oh dear.

Though I remember a poor, benighted creature (also an American, I believe) assuring her unfortunate querent that "fruitwood" as a furniture-related term is merely a term for a colour of dye, not a reference to the real wood of real trees bearing human-edible fruit, like cherry or pear or apple (or indeed lychee, longan or mango). Then there was the recent edition of Vogue Patterns that solemnly assured the reader that Cluny lace is named after a museum in Paris...
and the article on Wallis Simpson that remarked that her affair with the King aroused the wrath of Queen Elizabeth I.

One weeps for fact-checkers and their lack of employment in the magazine industry.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I once had a journo snarl at me because I changed her copy, she had written that Ancient Egyptians decorated their breasts with molten gold. I removed the word molten and she was furious. I let her moan for a minute, before pointing out that gold melts at over 1000 degrees C.

'Oh,' she said. 'Well, it was on the internet.'

PS Thank you for the hilarious other examples!

[chantefable.livejournal.com]

'Well, it was on the internet.'

Obviously.

[chantefable.livejournal.com]

and the article on Wallis Simpson that remarked that her affair with the King aroused the wrath of Queen Elizabeth I.

This is priceless. And terrifying. Imagine Queen Elizabeth I striking back in times of royal scandal, part zombie, part King Arthur.

Some readers could be seriously traumatised by such articles!

[momebie.livejournal.com]

I always just thought that to simmer was to cook for a while on low heat to give the ingredients time to meld.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

That's because you're sane. Although technically it is to cook a little below boiling point, but yes -- just for fun word, indeed!

[momebie.livejournal.com]

Dude. I work for an education publisher. Some of the things that get pushed through for print in EDUCATIONAL MATERIALS make me weep. I try not to think about all the other stupid things people publish.

That being said, my first thought upon reading your post was 'I simmered the pie filling just last night, and I don't know if I'd call it 'bold flavored''. Though I guess blueberries are technically more bold in flavor than say, star fruit.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

HAH! Can you imagine if that was the criterion? 'Darling, I can't simmer this sauce, its flavours are to wussy!'

And yes, I have several times written very cross letters to textbook publishers. I know they have limited time and budget, but it's no excuse!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Gibbons have better things to do! Like hang around and pick poo off their bums. Simmer indeed.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Well, many mass market mags are essential manure, so you're probably right!

[chantefable.livejournal.com]

Simmer. Wow. Reading that BH&G quote, I kept thinking 'Really? Really? Am I that stupid? Could this be right? Really?' But then I got to your indignation, and all was all right in the world.
Relief.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I fear for my industry some days. Other days I just want to slap everyone ...

[jessikast]

Do you have access to the next month's mag, to see if they published an apology or correction, or at least a highly amusing letters page?

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I will hunt it out in the library and let you know!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

He really is a terrible singer! And his swimming is not half so butch as he thinks it is. I suspect I also ride a horse better than he does, but he was in a Western saddle so it is hard to compare as they always make people look as though their seat is sloppy ...

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

"just-for-fun", "bold-flavored sauce" - oh, wow. O_O Um, someone needs to buy them a dictionary.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

And then thwap them with it!

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Are they at least erudite gibbons?

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

They are the thickie gibbons that other gibbons are embarrassed by.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

SO sad.

[uminohikari.livejournal.com]

Re: simmer. What. I'm pretty sure that I've encountered it in a children's book written in the 80s. What.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Madness, sheer madness! Your cup bunny would have known it was crazy talk!

Putin and inaccuracies

[theodoraleft.livejournal.com]

My daughter had a russian hamster called Putin. When I read out her text message "Putin is dead" in the staffroom at work, which included 2 russian students, it nearly caused an international incident.
I'm living your Italian experiences with you, each step of the way! love and kisses and lots of laughs xx

Re: Putin and inaccuracies

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Oh god ... that made me laugh in a wholly ridiculous fashion!

How is New Zealand? I'm off to Siena in the travelogue next, very much looking forward to reaching the Bath chapter, which was too short but otherwise perfect! Love and kisses to you, too! XXX