Things I do better than Vladimir Putin ...

[blamebrampton]

Sing, and swim.

Seriously, that was a rubbish butterfly stroke. It's possible I would be a better leader of Russia, too, but since we have no basis for comparison, and I know only four words of Russian, he can have that one.

And while I am mocking people meanly, I found this gem in US Better Homes and Gardens, September 2008 edition:
What is a simmer?
"Simmer" is a just-for-fun term that has sprung up in the food world to mean cooking in a bold-flavored sauce. Think of it as braising with a twist. It's too new to be in dictionaries, but you'll see it used on restaurant menus ...

I had to actually hunt out one of my American dictionaries to check that this is as stupid as I thought it was. It listed simmer, gave its classic definitions (one of which covers the use the BH&G writer was aiming at) and noted the word comes from the mid 17th century. I am tempted to write to the editorial team to check that someone was laughed at for letting this through, but live in fear that no one was. Do not take your facts from mass market media, my friends! It is often written by gibbons!

Comments

[lal111.livejournal.com]

Lol, you'd be much better in ruling Russia.
Just about anyone would.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Well, my popularity as a benevolent despot would be bought through public offerings of chocolate every weekend, but I am not certain that Moscow is ready for my sudden influx of public transport and car-free months ...

[grangrangran.livejournal.com]

Well, with the way most means of public transport are affected by just the tiniest bit of snow, I'm not sure one could blame them... Though I always figured the Russian kept Putin around for his reassuring touches of despotism, not his competence. I'm sure no one would mind that as a supplement?

[anthraxia.livejournal.com]

Actually, Moscow has some of the best public transport in the world; it's underground system is justly famous (not just for hiding away from nuclear explosions.)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's famous for being beautiful and cheap, but has also been the site of terrorist attacks and is not well insulated from the weather, leading to sweltering or freezing conditions throughout the year. It's also not patronised by the middle class, which is why Moscow traffic jams are now among the worst in the world. Comfortable Mercedes buses with battering rams for any cars who ignore my car-freeness, that's the ticket!