Ai me ...

I've always had Chinese friends, and also English, these days generally Anglo, friends who live in China. That said, the one thing I can say in Mandarin is 'Aiya!' Follow around any Chinese grandmother while she is watching her teenaged grandchildren and you'll hear this expression. It's one of those fabulously adaptable phrases, but, as I learned it, is often used to convey deep frustration. 

(I tried to get aiyo down, which is, I believe, 'Ouch!', but I have never met a Chinese grandmother willing to admit to pain, and my friends have always been so busy laughing at my abysmal attempts that they have been useless to teach me anything. Bastards.)

This is all preamble to explain why I have been exercising my one piece of Mandarin this evening. I have been working on a fic that is Giving Me Issues. When I say fic, it's really one scene. Which I will probably cut. But I have been trying to write sex. I am not good at this. The good news is that the Literary Review has its annual Bad Sex Award, the historic highlights list of which is full of sex scenes that are FAR worse than mine!

The worst of all was last year's winner from Jonathan Littell's The Kindly Ones:

( It's really awful, no, seriously ... )

I will probably still end up deleting the one I am working on, but I would like it to be known that it is nowhere near that bad!

Also, I would like to share this video of my new favourite North American. Madam, I salute your neck strength! And the Book Club tonight had a whole show on great film adaptations of great books and did not once mention To Kill A Mockingbird! Madness!

Finally, HAPPY BIRTHDAY marinelle24 , may your day be wonderful and lacking in both bad sex and very naughty cats!

Ai me ...

I've always had Chinese friends, and also English, these days generally Anglo, friends who live in China. That said, the one thing I can say in Mandarin is 'Aiya!' Follow around any Chinese grandmother while she is watching her teenaged grandchildren and you'll hear this expression. It's one of those fabulously adaptable phrases, but, as I learned it, is often used to convey deep frustration. 

(I tried to get aiyo down, which is, I believe, 'Ouch!', but I have never met a Chinese grandmother willing to admit to pain, and my friends have always been so busy laughing at my abysmal attempts that they have been useless to teach me anything. Bastards.)

This is all preamble to explain why I have been exercising my one piece of Mandarin this evening. I have been working on a fic that is Giving Me Issues. When I say fic, it's really one scene. Which I will probably cut. But I have been trying to write sex. I am not good at this. The good news is that the Literary Review has its annual Bad Sex Award, the historic highlights list of which is full of sex scenes that are FAR worse than mine!

The worst of all was last year's winner from Jonathan Littell's The Kindly Ones:

( It's really awful, no, seriously ... )

I will probably still end up deleting the one I am working on, but I would like it to be known that it is nowhere near that bad!

Also, I would like to share this video of my new favourite North American. Madam, I salute your neck strength! And the Book Club tonight had a whole show on great film adaptations of great books and did not once mention To Kill A Mockingbird! Madness!

Finally, HAPPY BIRTHDAY marinelle24 , may your day be wonderful and lacking in both bad sex and very naughty cats!