Ah the BBC …

Nobody poshes it up politely quite like the BBC's Arts Editor Will Gompertz: 'And then, there is the issue of readers becoming authors, dramatically illustrated by the extraordinary success of EL James's Fifty Shades of Grey, a book that started life at a website for amateur writers responding to their favourite novels.'

I have spent 8 hours today writing about sheds.

In unrelated news, I have a bruise on my wrist because I stuck my hand between the bars of a cat cage at the vet's to pat the kitten inside, and while my hand fit, only the first half-inch of my wrist did, but I did not stop there. The kitten was highly amused to watch me trying to de-wedge myself. And I distracted the nice lady with the sick cat! Mr Brammers muttered about monkeys and jars. He is very unkind.

In far better news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, sly_girl! As a far more sensible cat-lover, you will never have done anything that ridiculous, I know. However, I hope your kitten has showered you with purrs and affection and that your nearest and dearest have done something thoroughly inspired and delightful in the way of cakes and gifts! (Or, if they're anything like mine, that there was at least excellence in the DVD and dinner department today.) You're a thoroughly fab person and I hope that this is the start of a really brilliant year for you!

And now, back to more sheds. Moreland City Council is the only council in Australia that I really like at the moment. They have all their planning information and fees clearly set out and described online, and when you ring up to check something, a lovely Irishman named Liam will help you. Liam has been the only thing standing between me and running screaming down the lane today. Bless you, Liam, I hope your life is long and happy!