I always knew it would come to this ...

[blamebrampton]

pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

Comments

[potteresque_ire]

It does explain why men like to fiddle around with the remote control so much. :D

[alaana-fair.livejournal.com]

*G* One of the mysteries of the universe solved. *nods* :-D

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Schlong: derived from the Yiddish word for snake. Crude, but often used humorously. 'Dude, put your schlong away!' US, particularly New York city area.

Sausage: primarily used in the idiomatic phrase "sausage party" to refer to an all male gathering. 'What is this, a sausage party? Where are all the chicks, man?' US

[salviag.livejournal.com]

Here in Texas (and likely other places in the U.S. with a strong Hispanic influence), testicles are sometimes referred to as "huevos," the Spanish word for eggs. It tends to be used to imply great masculinity and/or hubris, i.e. "It takes some huevos to do that."

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

welll there's of course the my yiddish vocab of
schmuck
&
putz
little boys have a shmeckel

I also like the more colorful description of: The incredible heat seeking moisture missle.
or even: one eyed trouser snake

Movies are important influences as well
I like the Austin Powers ref of Meat and 2 Veg
or the Something About Mary: frank and beans (is it the frank or the beans? LOL)

Then the ever popular using "names" like Johnson or Richard


I could go on and on and on...

[miriravan.livejournal.com]

'Wedding tackle'. I don't know where it ultimately derives from, but at least among my group of friends, most commonly found in the phrase 'polishing the wedding tackle', which means just exactly what you think it means. :)

Also, 'junk'. Again, don't know where it comes from, but seems to refer to the whole, er, package.

Oh, and 'package'. :)

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, most romance novels dance around "the matter", but I've read quite a lot that don't. It's one of the reasons why I've stopped reading them. Because stuff like "Er stieß seine heiße Lanze zwischen ihre Schenkel." just seems plain ridiculous to me. And hysterical giggling ruins the mood. :)

Actually, I've also heard "Schniedelwutz" but I thought that belonged in the 'personal' category. ^__^

[acromantular.livejournal.com]

Of course, this makes me picture short, bald, hyperactive musicians.
*bleaches brain*

[thenotoriousso4.livejournal.com]

I'm from the midwest (more specifically Oklahoma), but I'm sure that most of the terms we use are probably not regional.

Dick: A vulgar term. Used mostly in anger when phrased "Well, why don't you just suck my dick?" You would not use this word in front of your mother. USA

Johnson: Slightly less vulgar than "dick", but still not something you would say in front of your mother. Mostly used in all male company. USA

Pee-pee: Only used by small children... hopefully. USA

Boner: Refers to an erect penis, and generally only used by teenage boys. Still not something one would say in front of his mother. Funnily enough, it's also a nickname for a trombone. :) USA

And then there are general terms like "junk" and "stuff", but I think they refer more to the whole package. And there are more "eloquent" terms like "bait and tackle" "beans and weenies" or a term I heard more recently that made me laugh out loud: "cash and prizes".

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

Is it possible the resemblance might be intentional? ;)

[abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

Well, coming from the Detroit area and formerly hanging around with a very urban crowd, I can probably add a few unique ones...

Like "wood," used as in, "I gave her the wood."

"Bone," which works the same way.

"Jimmy," or "jim" is the same deal. Also goes with "jimmy hat," which is slang for condom.

"Dillz," as in "I gave her the dillz," is not popular, but used.

"Chubby," usually specifically means erection, unlike "Wood" and "Bone," which would IMPLY an erect state, but don't necessarily mean that.

Also of note would be "Basket" which refers to the groin in general ("I kicked him in the basket."), and "Bozack," to mean testicles.

An additional fun fact - In hip hop slang, "cock" can also refer to female genitalia, as in the very lovely, "You don't know the meanin'/of cleanin' your cock."

Sometimes I miss those misogynistic bastards...

[cyberwitch13666.livejournal.com]

In Argentina it's called...

Pija = equivalent to Cock

Verga = slightly less vulgar variation. Also used in Spain and other latin-american countries

Polla = It's not really heard here, but I know they say it a lot in Spain. Funny detail: polla is also a female chicken. Pollo being a male chicken.

Pito or Pepe = used by little kids.

Bulto or Paquete = Used to imply the whole package.

Pelotas, Bolas or Huevos = Testicles

Culo = Used mainly as a vulgar term for buttocks but it can also mean the anus.

Great idea to complite this list by the way!!!

[absynthedrinker.livejournal.com]

Gargantuan Rose-Tipped Tool of Love

and

One-Eyed,Wrinkle-Necked Trouser Trout

are two that I have always been partial to (if such a thing is possible)

Peace,
Bubba

[rhaniyago.livejournal.com]

And here we have the nice expression "Fünf gegen Willie" (Five against Willie") which simply means wanking

[jamie2109.livejournal.com]

Oooh, nice post...

Aussies also use Percy - as in 'point Percy at the porcelain'.

A couple of others I thought of:

Goolies - As in 'kicked him in the goolies.' I have no idea where it came from, but it really sounds like a term from cricket somehow. *shrugs* Word association or something. Maybe derivative from the term 'googly' which is a style of ball bowled by the bowler.

Knackers is another one and then comes the rhyming slang derived from that 'kicked him in the Jatz crackers' Which might actually refer to the testicular area - Jatz crackers being round.

Old fella is one that blokes use, as in 'I had to go point Percy at the porcelain, and just as I flopped out the old fella, a bloody snake jumped up and bit me Jatz crackers.'

lol

[inamac.livejournal.com]

Should I go and find my copy of the 'book of Sex lists', which has about 50 terms? (My reference library is somewhat... eclectic).

Interesting that 'willie' is both UK and German.

Family jewels? (is that translatable?)

It's no good. Mind has gone blank.

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I actually hadn't heard that one before. But yeah, nice one. :)

[kayleigh-jane.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have a few. All of these are Dutch and have some resemblance to the German versions, both in pronunciation and in spelling.

Piemel: Used mostly by children. 'Piemeltje' is diminuitive. "Alle jongens hebben een piemel" = "All boys have a weenie".

Plasser(tje): Used by children. "Heb je je plassertje gewassen?" = "Have you washed your wee-wee?".

Stijve: equivalent of hard on. Adult, used in private conversation. "Dat is een flinke stijve" = "That's quite a hard on".

Pik: slightly dirty word, used by teenagers and adults. Pikkie is the diminuitive "Hij heeft een klein pikkie" = "He's got a small dick".

Lul: Very dirty, also used to describe a certain type of man. Used by adults, mostly in very private conversation. "Wat ben je toch een lul" = "You can be such an arsehole".

Soldaat: literally 'soldier'. Used to tell someone they haven't done their flies up. "Je soldaat staat op wacht" = "Your soldier is standing guard".

Jongeheer: can be used in normal conversation.

I can't think of any other Dutch ones of the top of my head, but I'm sure someone else will.

For English;

Todger: British, possibly oldfashioned. "He put his hand on my todger!".

Wedding vegetables, fruit and nuts, meat and two veg: description of the male genitalia. Used in normal conversation. "He took his fruit and nuts out on radio".

[rocket62204.livejournal.com]

*dies*

[fourth_rose]

Ösi hier ;)

"Schwanz" is considered quite vulgar here - I think quite a bit more than in the Northern parts of the German-speaking world. It's common in slang, but definitely not something you'd use even in semi-polite conversation.

"Zumpferl" is probably Viennese or at least Eastern Austrian, although I couldn't say for sure. It would be interesting to know if it's used in Bavaria as well, but I'd say definitely not north of the "Weißwurstäquator" ;)

[fourth_rose]

Forgot one! The standard, "polite" term (if you don't want to use the more clincial "Penis") is "Glied" (=limb). It's probably the equivalent of the English term "member", and has about the same degree of sexiness ;)

As for the erect penis, I saw "Ständer" has already been mentioned, but there's also "Latte" (= plank). There was a great McDonald's commercial here a while ago, where you saw a cup of coffee and the caption "Morgen-Latte", which, for the pure of heart, could mean a cafe latte in the morning, but for normal people meant "morning wood". I'm still wondering what would happen if McDonald's went for the same kind of innuendo in the US...

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Berliner Exil-Schwäbin hier ;-). Also zwar unterhalb des Weißwurstäquators, aber "Zumpferl" sagt man im Schwabenland definitiv nicht. Zippel allerdings schon.

I translate porn, so perhaps Schwanz seems like an everyday word just to me ;). It's mentioned here in everday conversations, which obviously doesn't revolve around male genitalia all of the time.

[fourth_rose]

Thanks for reminding me why I don't read German smut! *shudders*

It seems to me that German lacks a level of language here - there's hardly anything between clincial and vulgar, so I guess the authors of German smut have to settle for slightly ridiculous ;)

[fourth_rose]

I've heard "Schniedelwutz" in movies, so I guess it's somewhat common. Not where I live, though, so I couldn't say for sure.

[fourth_rose]

Österreich und Deutschland unterscheiden sich bekanntlich vor allem durch die gemeinsame Sprache ;))

Perhaps the fact that "Schwanz" is outright vulgar here is one of the reasons why I can't read German smut. It throws me right out of any scene that's supposed to be sexy, although I doubt I could think of a better term. Hardly surprising all the smut I write is in English :)

Oh, and now that you mention it, I've heard the term "Zipfe(r)l" used here as well, which seems to be a close relative to "Zippel".