I always knew it would come to this ...

[blamebrampton]

pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

Comments

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

I am now stuck in my own brain, trying to weight the different expressions against each other!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

All of them, Pin, write up all of them! We'll find somewhere to archive it and it will be A Valuable Resource.

(Why do I let you talk me into these things again?)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

This being the internet, there are quite a few sites with lists I happen to know: http://www.starma.com/penis/penis.html

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Thanks! But we also want to know where they come from and what contexts people use them in, so feel free to tell us yours!

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

I've always been partial to tallywhacker. I've never heard it actually used, though. :)

[potteresque_ire]

Would have thought it was the remote control if I heard the term ;)

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

In German:

Schwanz: The most commonly used term, not to be mentioned in dialogue with great-aunt Elfriede, but in most any other circumstance (translates lit. into Engl. tail - as you can imagine, the jokes abound.)

Johannes: old-fashioned euphemism, but still used affectionally or tongue & cheek (translates lit. into Engl. John.)

Pimmel: used commonly, but more in kid's talk. Young boys and adult men reluctant to use "Schwanz" may use "Pimmel".

Ständer: the erect penis, colloquial term for erection.

There are more, will add once I can think of them ;-). In general, German has much less terms, slang or otherwise, for the genitalia both male and female, and there's a very restricted vocabulary for the acts of sex. Often, when there is no German word, the English expression is substituted (like Blowjob, rimmen, Cock-Ring etc.)

[fourth_rose]

Hoppla, Zwillinge! ;))

[fourth_rose]

Now that should be fun...

(Southern) German:

Schwanz (=tail): common euphemism, considered rather vulgar, possible in sexual references if you're for the direct approach ;)

Pimmel (Austrian variety: Pimpfel): slightly vulgar, but mostly used in a semi-joking fashion

Zumpferl: affectionate in a very non-sexual way (it's a diminuitive, hence not to be used in the heat of the moment!)

Johannes (= John): somewhat old-fashioned, mostly used in a joking manner

Spatz (= sparrow): kiddy-talk - the term you might teach a toddler to use.

ETA: Commenter above beat me to most of them, I see ;)

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Du bist Deutsche oder Österreicherin??

Spatz and Zumpferl are aweseome, though I never heard of them ;-). Interesting how we seem to differ slightly in the estimates of vulgarness ... Schwanz seems so common to me, I barely even consider it vulgar anymore ;-).

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

Well, I could add a couple of German expressions if you'd like. :)

Schwanz: the German equivalent of 'cock'. [The literal translation of 'Schwanz' is 'tail', though, so you really need to be careful when you're talking about the wagging tails of dogs or the long tails of rats.]
Schniedel: a term generally used by small children. 'Jungs haben einen Schniedel.'
Schaft: is 'shaft' in English. Most often found in romance novels as artistic euphemism.
Lanze & Speer: 'lance' & 'spear' - equally bad euphemisms found in romance novels.
Willie: the German equivalent of 'percy'.

A term for the erect penis is Staender (from the German word 'stehen' = to stand). It's colloquial and the least crude term if you want to avoid erection.

I'm sure I know a lot more, though. *thinks hard*

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you for Schniedel - I just knew I had forgotten some. Schaft is plain ridiculous :-). Usually, in the romance novels I am writing, genitalia are not mentioned, but a euphemism is used. Er war hart, oder so.

[potteresque_ire]

*Prepares to die of laughter reading this post ;)*

[old-enough.livejournal.com]

The most polite euphemism in Danish that I can think of is "Ædlere del" (lit. more lordly bits) which applies to both genders, so is probably more a euphemism for genitals, but I know women use it most often when referring (say in a work environment) to a guy's penis. It is also used in newspapers: So-and-so celebrity managed to burn his "ædlere del" while cooking nude.

"Pik" is the crude word that most closely matches "cock".

"Tap" is another possibility--slightly risqué. It is the same was the "tap" in the English "water tap".

"Tissemand" (lit. "pee man") is the Danish version of the British "willy"--so a somewhat childish word.

"Lem" (lit. "limb" or "extremity" is another polite euphemism for "penis".

[(Anonymous)]

I'd have to disagree on 'tap' - that's risque? The first thing I think of whenever I hear that word is the Mannikenpiss. Very little boy-ish and generally completely free of sexual implications. Tap doesn't only mean water tap, but any small protrusion (as in English?) - the tap in a lock, for instance. So it does imply something of a not too significant size.

'Pik' is very common and the "sexiest" word around, I think that's the consensus anyway. It is sometimes interspersed with the more outrageous ones - 'ynglekaep' (breeding rod), 'tredjebenet' (the third leg), 'pikkemand' - an adultified version of 'tissemand' (pik + tissemand), 'dillermand' - same construction. Even worse are 'ködrullen' (the meat roll) and 'skumspröjten' (the foam hose).

'Diller' also exists on its own, somewhere between 'pik' and 'tissemand'. I don't think I've heard it used since 2. grade though - sort of one you use while you work up the guts to actually (gasp!) say 'pik'.

'Tissemand' itself has won a great bit of at least the younger generation as the go-to word for every occasion. Probably because most find that Danish is horribly unsexy, and young people are completely incapable of speaking about sex in anything but a joking manner - in Danish that is.
I've noticed that whenever sex comes up in my classes - age 16 to 28 of almost normal and well rounded young people - most will use not english expressions, but sentences, mixed in.

'Lem' is polite - kind of. It also calls to mind bad bad bad erotic romance novels and your grandmother.

[alaana-fair.livejournal.com]

'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

LOL! Oh, but why? :-D

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Schlong: derived from the Yiddish word for snake. Crude, but often used humorously. 'Dude, put your schlong away!' US, particularly New York city area.

Sausage: primarily used in the idiomatic phrase "sausage party" to refer to an all male gathering. 'What is this, a sausage party? Where are all the chicks, man?' US

[salviag.livejournal.com]

Here in Texas (and likely other places in the U.S. with a strong Hispanic influence), testicles are sometimes referred to as "huevos," the Spanish word for eggs. It tends to be used to imply great masculinity and/or hubris, i.e. "It takes some huevos to do that."

*waves at fellow txn*

[arobynsung]

Also, "Cojones" in the same context.

(I hope I got the spelling right)

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

welll there's of course the my yiddish vocab of
schmuck
&
putz
little boys have a shmeckel

I also like the more colorful description of: The incredible heat seeking moisture missle.
or even: one eyed trouser snake

Movies are important influences as well
I like the Austin Powers ref of Meat and 2 Veg
or the Something About Mary: frank and beans (is it the frank or the beans? LOL)

Then the ever popular using "names" like Johnson or Richard


I could go on and on and on...

[miriravan.livejournal.com]

'Wedding tackle'. I don't know where it ultimately derives from, but at least among my group of friends, most commonly found in the phrase 'polishing the wedding tackle', which means just exactly what you think it means. :)

Also, 'junk'. Again, don't know where it comes from, but seems to refer to the whole, er, package.

Oh, and 'package'. :)

[thenotoriousso4.livejournal.com]

I'm from the midwest (more specifically Oklahoma), but I'm sure that most of the terms we use are probably not regional.

Dick: A vulgar term. Used mostly in anger when phrased "Well, why don't you just suck my dick?" You would not use this word in front of your mother. USA

Johnson: Slightly less vulgar than "dick", but still not something you would say in front of your mother. Mostly used in all male company. USA

Pee-pee: Only used by small children... hopefully. USA

Boner: Refers to an erect penis, and generally only used by teenage boys. Still not something one would say in front of his mother. Funnily enough, it's also a nickname for a trombone. :) USA

And then there are general terms like "junk" and "stuff", but I think they refer more to the whole package. And there are more "eloquent" terms like "bait and tackle" "beans and weenies" or a term I heard more recently that made me laugh out loud: "cash and prizes".

[abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

Well, coming from the Detroit area and formerly hanging around with a very urban crowd, I can probably add a few unique ones...

Like "wood," used as in, "I gave her the wood."

"Bone," which works the same way.

"Jimmy," or "jim" is the same deal. Also goes with "jimmy hat," which is slang for condom.

"Dillz," as in "I gave her the dillz," is not popular, but used.

"Chubby," usually specifically means erection, unlike "Wood" and "Bone," which would IMPLY an erect state, but don't necessarily mean that.

Also of note would be "Basket" which refers to the groin in general ("I kicked him in the basket."), and "Bozack," to mean testicles.

An additional fun fact - In hip hop slang, "cock" can also refer to female genitalia, as in the very lovely, "You don't know the meanin'/of cleanin' your cock."

Sometimes I miss those misogynistic bastards...

[cyberwitch13666.livejournal.com]

In Argentina it's called...

Pija = equivalent to Cock

Verga = slightly less vulgar variation. Also used in Spain and other latin-american countries

Polla = It's not really heard here, but I know they say it a lot in Spain. Funny detail: polla is also a female chicken. Pollo being a male chicken.

Pito or Pepe = used by little kids.

Bulto or Paquete = Used to imply the whole package.

Pelotas, Bolas or Huevos = Testicles

Culo = Used mainly as a vulgar term for buttocks but it can also mean the anus.

Great idea to complite this list by the way!!!

[absynthedrinker.livejournal.com]

Gargantuan Rose-Tipped Tool of Love

and

One-Eyed,Wrinkle-Necked Trouser Trout

are two that I have always been partial to (if such a thing is possible)

Peace,
Bubba

[jamie2109.livejournal.com]

Oooh, nice post...

Aussies also use Percy - as in 'point Percy at the porcelain'.

A couple of others I thought of:

Goolies - As in 'kicked him in the goolies.' I have no idea where it came from, but it really sounds like a term from cricket somehow. *shrugs* Word association or something. Maybe derivative from the term 'googly' which is a style of ball bowled by the bowler.

Knackers is another one and then comes the rhyming slang derived from that 'kicked him in the Jatz crackers' Which might actually refer to the testicular area - Jatz crackers being round.

Old fella is one that blokes use, as in 'I had to go point Percy at the porcelain, and just as I flopped out the old fella, a bloody snake jumped up and bit me Jatz crackers.'

lol

[inamac.livejournal.com]

Should I go and find my copy of the 'book of Sex lists', which has about 50 terms? (My reference library is somewhat... eclectic).

Interesting that 'willie' is both UK and German.

Family jewels? (is that translatable?)

It's no good. Mind has gone blank.

[kayleigh-jane.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have a few. All of these are Dutch and have some resemblance to the German versions, both in pronunciation and in spelling.

Piemel: Used mostly by children. 'Piemeltje' is diminuitive. "Alle jongens hebben een piemel" = "All boys have a weenie".

Plasser(tje): Used by children. "Heb je je plassertje gewassen?" = "Have you washed your wee-wee?".

Stijve: equivalent of hard on. Adult, used in private conversation. "Dat is een flinke stijve" = "That's quite a hard on".

Pik: slightly dirty word, used by teenagers and adults. Pikkie is the diminuitive "Hij heeft een klein pikkie" = "He's got a small dick".

Lul: Very dirty, also used to describe a certain type of man. Used by adults, mostly in very private conversation. "Wat ben je toch een lul" = "You can be such an arsehole".

Soldaat: literally 'soldier'. Used to tell someone they haven't done their flies up. "Je soldaat staat op wacht" = "Your soldier is standing guard".

Jongeheer: can be used in normal conversation.

I can't think of any other Dutch ones of the top of my head, but I'm sure someone else will.

For English;

Todger: British, possibly oldfashioned. "He put his hand on my todger!".

Wedding vegetables, fruit and nuts, meat and two veg: description of the male genitalia. Used in normal conversation. "He took his fruit and nuts out on radio".

[not-an-elf.livejournal.com]

Six of the Best

as in;

"Cor! Then he took me to the kitchen, bent me over the Royal Albert and gave me six of the best!"

or my personal favorite

The Glory

Appropriately capitalised please.

[mytla.livejournal.com]

the Royal Albert????
Which part of the kitchen furnishing would that be?

[frantic-flirt.livejournal.com]

How about some Portuguese (the Brazilian kind)...

Pipi = for young children (boys and girls).
Pinto = translates into *bird*, is very colloquial and not at all offensive.
Pintinho = translates into *little bird*, also for young children (boys only).
Pau = translates into your good old *cock*
Rola = also translates into *cock*
Pau and Rola vary from colloquial to crude depending on the context and inflexion you use when you say it.

:D

[mabonwitch.livejournal.com]

A little clarification on some US slang...

Wee-wee, pee-pee, and whizzer are the kind of language a parent might use when potty-training a child, though the last is slightly vulgar.

Children up to the pre-teen years, in my experience, use non-sexual but minorly vulgar terms like ding-dong, weiner, weenie, gonads (balls)and nuts. These words are usually only used among themselves, as there's a sense that talking about genitalia is Not Done.

Pre-teens and teens start using sexual terms: stiffy/stiff one, woody/morning wood, boner, and hard on to mean "erection" and dick, prick, and cock for penis.

It would be really odd for an adult here to use stiffy, woody, or boner, since those are mostly adolescent words.

Three more that I know are specific to the transgendered community. Bottom surgery- turning a vagina into a penis- isn't up to standard, so those who go through with it end up with (to the best of my understanding) either 'normal' sized but non-functioning cocks or very small cocks that are functioning. These small cocks are sometimes called "boydicks", "transdick" or "trannycock".

bare_me

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

I saw a documentary about the pregnant transman, and he said that male hormones had made his clitoris grow large enough so that he could have penetrative sex with his wife. I thought that was interesting.

[sivullinen.livejournal.com]

Finnish:

kyrpä: very vulgar. I only see this in pornier literature, but then again the company I keep is polite ;)

pippeli: used by small children or playfully

kikkeli: see above, but this could be used by adults too in a non-sexual context (slightly more vulgar)

kalu: lit. tool, can be used when males talk to other males (or when women talk about their significant other's penis to their lady friends). This isn't too vulgar, and I wouldn't be shocked to see it used in a newspaper, for example.

muna: lit. egg, used especially by teenagers, and in the expression "imeä munaa" (suck dick)

I'll add more if I think of them! :)

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

There're a lot of international swearing dictionaries. this is the one I found on first googling.

I am especially interested in the UK/US differences (with other English-speaking countries added to it).

Alrighty. For penis, you say?
pénisz - penis
fasz - cock (although more rude, I think)
farok - tail (usage is same as in those German entries)
fütyi, kuki- willy
pisilő - pee pee (v. v. kindergarden euphemism - used for both genders' equipments)
pöcs - dick
gyík - lit. newt - vulgar but not that rude - usually used to describe one's own penis. (Funny 'coincidence' is that FAQ is translated literally into GYIK which might or might not have contributed to its popularity of recent)
ágykígyó - lit. bed snake - more funny than rude and perhaps a bit outdated
kukac - lit. worm - a piece of kindergarden vulgarity

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of anything else right now. I'm not very up to date in Hungarian swearing.

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

I've remembered another one. I think you'll like it. *snickers*

bráner - vulgar and a bit rude but not used as a swear word - I think it's either a recent word or recently became "cool".