I always knew it would come to this ...

[blamebrampton]

pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

Comments

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

Well, I could add a couple of German expressions if you'd like. :)

Schwanz: the German equivalent of 'cock'. [The literal translation of 'Schwanz' is 'tail', though, so you really need to be careful when you're talking about the wagging tails of dogs or the long tails of rats.]
Schniedel: a term generally used by small children. 'Jungs haben einen Schniedel.'
Schaft: is 'shaft' in English. Most often found in romance novels as artistic euphemism.
Lanze & Speer: 'lance' & 'spear' - equally bad euphemisms found in romance novels.
Willie: the German equivalent of 'percy'.

A term for the erect penis is Staender (from the German word 'stehen' = to stand). It's colloquial and the least crude term if you want to avoid erection.

I'm sure I know a lot more, though. *thinks hard*

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you for Schniedel - I just knew I had forgotten some. Schaft is plain ridiculous :-). Usually, in the romance novels I am writing, genitalia are not mentioned, but a euphemism is used. Er war hart, oder so.

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, most romance novels dance around "the matter", but I've read quite a lot that don't. It's one of the reasons why I've stopped reading them. Because stuff like "Er stieß seine heiße Lanze zwischen ihre Schenkel." just seems plain ridiculous to me. And hysterical giggling ruins the mood. :)

Actually, I've also heard "Schniedelwutz" but I thought that belonged in the 'personal' category. ^__^

[fourth_rose]

I've heard "Schniedelwutz" in movies, so I guess it's somewhat common. Not where I live, though, so I couldn't say for sure.

[rhaniyago.livejournal.com]

And here we have the nice expression "Fünf gegen Willie" (Five against Willie") which simply means wanking

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I actually hadn't heard that one before. But yeah, nice one. :)

[fourth_rose]

Thanks for reminding me why I don't read German smut! *shudders*

It seems to me that German lacks a level of language here - there's hardly anything between clincial and vulgar, so I guess the authors of German smut have to settle for slightly ridiculous ;)

[rhaniyago.livejournal.com]

you're absolutely and 200% right! That's why I exclusively read smut in English. (the only exception being "liriaen" who wrote an amazing H/D fic in German "Algebra in der temporären autonomen Zone", where the plot is more important and the sex quite subtle). And being over 50 now, I only recently realised that the fact that I have never been really "vocal" during sex is certainly due to the difficulty with the German language. How much easier is it to say "fuck me" than the German equivalent "fick mich" which is simply "ehhw". Even French is easier to moan...