I always knew it would come to this ...

[blamebrampton]

pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

Comments

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

I am now stuck in my own brain, trying to weight the different expressions against each other!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

All of them, Pin, write up all of them! We'll find somewhere to archive it and it will be A Valuable Resource.

(Why do I let you talk me into these things again?)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

This being the internet, there are quite a few sites with lists I happen to know: http://www.starma.com/penis/penis.html

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Thanks! But we also want to know where they come from and what contexts people use them in, so feel free to tell us yours!

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

You are _very_ easily led astray. ;)

Sincd a lot of Norwegian swearing traditionally tends towards the religious rather than the sexual, gential references seem somehow stronger than in English, and there isn't as much variety (to my knowledge - I just use the vulgar ones so I haven't really got used to looking for euphemisms!) There are regional differences, though; up north they're far more casually foul-mouthed than in the south.

The stuck-ness has to do with examples of usage; I'll just leave them out since Norwegian examples will be useless to most of our flisters.

Pikk: vulgar term, commonly used in slang to describe the penis and, somewhat less commonly, as invective. Norway

Kuk (alt. kukk): vulgar term, commonly used in slang to describe the penis. More commonly heard in the middle and north of the country. Fairly strong invective in southern Norway, very casual in the north. Norway.

Must wring brain for more!

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

I've always been partial to tallywhacker. I've never heard it actually used, though. :)

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

In German:

Schwanz: The most commonly used term, not to be mentioned in dialogue with great-aunt Elfriede, but in most any other circumstance (translates lit. into Engl. tail - as you can imagine, the jokes abound.)

Johannes: old-fashioned euphemism, but still used affectionally or tongue & cheek (translates lit. into Engl. John.)

Pimmel: used commonly, but more in kid's talk. Young boys and adult men reluctant to use "Schwanz" may use "Pimmel".

Ständer: the erect penis, colloquial term for erection.

There are more, will add once I can think of them ;-). In general, German has much less terms, slang or otherwise, for the genitalia both male and female, and there's a very restricted vocabulary for the acts of sex. Often, when there is no German word, the English expression is substituted (like Blowjob, rimmen, Cock-Ring etc.)

[potteresque_ire]

Would have thought it was the remote control if I heard the term ;)

[fourth_rose]

Now that should be fun...

(Southern) German:

Schwanz (=tail): common euphemism, considered rather vulgar, possible in sexual references if you're for the direct approach ;)

Pimmel (Austrian variety: Pimpfel): slightly vulgar, but mostly used in a semi-joking fashion

Zumpferl: affectionate in a very non-sexual way (it's a diminuitive, hence not to be used in the heat of the moment!)

Johannes (= John): somewhat old-fashioned, mostly used in a joking manner

Spatz (= sparrow): kiddy-talk - the term you might teach a toddler to use.

ETA: Commenter above beat me to most of them, I see ;)

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

That will now be my new word for the remote. Pass the tallywhacker!

[fourth_rose]

Hoppla, Zwillinge! ;))

[ciraarana.livejournal.com]

Well, I could add a couple of German expressions if you'd like. :)

Schwanz: the German equivalent of 'cock'. [The literal translation of 'Schwanz' is 'tail', though, so you really need to be careful when you're talking about the wagging tails of dogs or the long tails of rats.]
Schniedel: a term generally used by small children. 'Jungs haben einen Schniedel.'
Schaft: is 'shaft' in English. Most often found in romance novels as artistic euphemism.
Lanze & Speer: 'lance' & 'spear' - equally bad euphemisms found in romance novels.
Willie: the German equivalent of 'percy'.

A term for the erect penis is Staender (from the German word 'stehen' = to stand). It's colloquial and the least crude term if you want to avoid erection.

I'm sure I know a lot more, though. *thinks hard*

[potteresque_ire]

*Prepares to die of laughter reading this post ;)*

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just remembered another one I have actually heard used.

A few people used to say moby. I believe that derives from Moby Dick (apparently the word "moby" being perceived as more polite than "dick").

Usage example:

Teenage Girl: Eww! Did you touch his moby?

[thisgirl-is.livejournal.com]

"Quit hogging the tallywhacker!"

[potteresque_ire]

Extra Large Universal Remote Control suddenly sounds more appealing than it ever has the right to be...

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Du bist Deutsche oder Österreicherin??

Spatz and Zumpferl are aweseome, though I never heard of them ;-). Interesting how we seem to differ slightly in the estimates of vulgarness ... Schwanz seems so common to me, I barely even consider it vulgar anymore ;-).

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

Damn, my tallywhacker needs more batteries!

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you for Schniedel - I just knew I had forgotten some. Schaft is plain ridiculous :-). Usually, in the romance novels I am writing, genitalia are not mentioned, but a euphemism is used. Er war hart, oder so.

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

"No, because all you do is flip around with it!"

[thisgirl-is.livejournal.com]

"But that's what it's for!"

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

That's because you spend too much time fiddling with it. ;)

[old-enough.livejournal.com]

The most polite euphemism in Danish that I can think of is "Ædlere del" (lit. more lordly bits) which applies to both genders, so is probably more a euphemism for genitals, but I know women use it most often when referring (say in a work environment) to a guy's penis. It is also used in newspapers: So-and-so celebrity managed to burn his "ædlere del" while cooking nude.

"Pik" is the crude word that most closely matches "cock".

"Tap" is another possibility--slightly risqué. It is the same was the "tap" in the English "water tap".

"Tissemand" (lit. "pee man") is the Danish version of the British "willy"--so a somewhat childish word.

"Lem" (lit. "limb" or "extremity" is another polite euphemism for "penis".

[alaana-fair.livejournal.com]

'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

LOL! Oh, but why? :-D

[alaana-fair.livejournal.com]

*dies* Now I will giggle every time and advert for that comes on and my kids will think me even stranger than they do now! :-D