I seem to be regressing, but also, recs!
Feb. 27th, 2010 12:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blamebramptonNo skating today, I have only nice things to say about the women and that's not funny at all! (Though there does need to be some effort put into matching tight and skin colours, it's ridiculous!)
The last fortnight has been a bit spotty. I came down with an ear infection that meant I was not confident in my verticality for some time. Hilarious to watch, but no fun, especially when it means I am even further behind on everything that I was at the start of February. Then on Tuesday night I gave myself colic, which is ridiculous when you consider my age.
As my doctor, an Oriental woman of a similar age tells me: 'Let go of the milk dream, you're a middle-aged Caucasian, lactose intolerance is your inheritance, be grateful you could scoff cream through your youth!'
And yet I chose to have ice-cream for dinner on Tuesday night as it was hot, and I could not be arsed to cook. When I woke up in the middle of the night with stomach pain, I immediately went to the ebola place, but a quick mental checklist of symptoms confirmed colic. I started off treating myself as I would a foundering horse (sans lead rein, I just walked myself about), then decided to go the baby route and cuddle a hot bottle to my belly. Of course this worked, but I felt ridiculous.
I thought this would be the most undignified moment of the week, but that was before this afternoon. As I was walking home through the nice housing estate near my work there was a gang of small children arguing over a bicycle (one owned it, two others wanted to ride it, several more were arbitrating). I was having a quiet giggle listening to the arguments ('I have to go home!' 'I just need to ride around the roundabout!' 'You can tell your mum we'll bring it back later!') when one of the girls said 'That little girl is laughing at us!'
I kept walking, but a shout of 'You! Little girl!' made me glance about to see who was being shouted at. Yes, it was me.
I looked down at them from my slight distance. 'What are you? Six?' I asked. There was general nodding and a few murmurs of 'Five.'
'I'm 43!' I protested.
'Don't be ridiculous!' said the imperious girl, while the rest of us burst out laughing. That will teach me to wear my Lilla My frock to work.
My health is recovered, my dignity still dented, but the week has been immensely cheered by two fics. The first is from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pushdragon . She and I went to see Pericles last year. This is one of those Shakespearean plays that are rarely performed, mostly because it's thoroughly stupid. She read the play the night before we saw it and gleefully greated me at the theatre with 'You didn't tell me there were PIRATES!' When I won a fic in her Haiti auction, I knew exactly what I wanted. Exeunt Pirates is the result, a brilliant tale with more than a touch of Scheherazade in the voice and a far funnier than Pericles plot. Full of great skewering jokes, fabbo H/D and a terrifically tight structure that will have you admiring the art if you can stop cackling long enough. I quote:
wemyss has deserted the Arcadian for a quick jaunt in the Candian and all things men's skating. Yes, my friends, this means H/D and Johnny Weir. It's another short read and with a cast of many all being splendid, bound to bring a smile to even the most jaded face. Plus, there's a threesome. The Age of Gold. Also Silver. Oh, and Bronze, Come to That. A taste:
The last fortnight has been a bit spotty. I came down with an ear infection that meant I was not confident in my verticality for some time. Hilarious to watch, but no fun, especially when it means I am even further behind on everything that I was at the start of February. Then on Tuesday night I gave myself colic, which is ridiculous when you consider my age.
As my doctor, an Oriental woman of a similar age tells me: 'Let go of the milk dream, you're a middle-aged Caucasian, lactose intolerance is your inheritance, be grateful you could scoff cream through your youth!'
And yet I chose to have ice-cream for dinner on Tuesday night as it was hot, and I could not be arsed to cook. When I woke up in the middle of the night with stomach pain, I immediately went to the ebola place, but a quick mental checklist of symptoms confirmed colic. I started off treating myself as I would a foundering horse (sans lead rein, I just walked myself about), then decided to go the baby route and cuddle a hot bottle to my belly. Of course this worked, but I felt ridiculous.
I thought this would be the most undignified moment of the week, but that was before this afternoon. As I was walking home through the nice housing estate near my work there was a gang of small children arguing over a bicycle (one owned it, two others wanted to ride it, several more were arbitrating). I was having a quiet giggle listening to the arguments ('I have to go home!' 'I just need to ride around the roundabout!' 'You can tell your mum we'll bring it back later!') when one of the girls said 'That little girl is laughing at us!'
I kept walking, but a shout of 'You! Little girl!' made me glance about to see who was being shouted at. Yes, it was me.
I looked down at them from my slight distance. 'What are you? Six?' I asked. There was general nodding and a few murmurs of 'Five.'
'I'm 43!' I protested.
'Don't be ridiculous!' said the imperious girl, while the rest of us burst out laughing. That will teach me to wear my Lilla My frock to work.
My health is recovered, my dignity still dented, but the week has been immensely cheered by two fics. The first is from
pushdragon . She and I went to see Pericles last year. This is one of those Shakespearean plays that are rarely performed, mostly because it's thoroughly stupid. She read the play the night before we saw it and gleefully greated me at the theatre with 'You didn't tell me there were PIRATES!' When I won a fic in her Haiti auction, I knew exactly what I wanted. Exeunt Pirates is the result, a brilliant tale with more than a touch of Scheherazade in the voice and a far funnier than Pericles plot. Full of great skewering jokes, fabbo H/D and a terrifically tight structure that will have you admiring the art if you can stop cackling long enough. I quote:Yep. Kidnapped by pirates – the gangplank, the wooden legs, the cutlasses, the whole caboodle.
I beg your pardon? It's what?
When you say "totally fucking predictable", I have to ask myself whether have you ever stumbled across a dictionary in your sorry excuse for a life, or perhaps been struck a few too many times over the head with one. Look at a map. We were 1500 miles from Somalia, and in the wrong bloody ocean in any case.
The second fic is even sillier and yet no less splendid. I beg your pardon? It's what?
When you say "totally fucking predictable", I have to ask myself whether have you ever stumbled across a dictionary in your sorry excuse for a life, or perhaps been struck a few too many times over the head with one. Look at a map. We were 1500 miles from Somalia, and in the wrong bloody ocean in any case.
wemyss has deserted the Arcadian for a quick jaunt in the Candian and all things men's skating. Yes, my friends, this means H/D and Johnny Weir. It's another short read and with a cast of many all being splendid, bound to bring a smile to even the most jaded face. Plus, there's a threesome. The Age of Gold. Also Silver. Oh, and Bronze, Come to That. A taste:As the man with the curious under-bite minced towards them, it was immediately clear that he was not in fact a Tory Member – and was a much younger man, and a Yank to boot.
He surveyed them coolly. ‘Mmmm,’ purred he. ‘Actually, my name’s Paris Paris
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 01:12 pm (UTC)I do need a photo of you (in those outfits) though. You swear you didn't edit that story and they were geriatrics? Because it's too cute.
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:25 pm (UTC)Six is the age when kids seem to be awful at guessing ages, I remember my nephew trying to guess my age when I was in my late twenties 'Fifteen? Sixty?' he offered.
The dress is like this one: http://www.metalicus.com/women/product/8841/you-gotta-cut-loose-vest-dress except that it flares out broadly at the hem, in a line more like Lilla My, who I am afraid you will have to Google if you have no mental image.
It does disturb me that I use my large animal husbandry techniques on myself, but it did help!
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:30 pm (UTC)PS: having read other comment - there IS a substitute for ice cream, ie. lots of types and flavours without animal products, for the lactose intolerant as well as vegans. I'm told it's delicious.
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:35 pm (UTC)I fear that my personal style may be all too comic or children's literature, which is not quite the offbeat ageing hipster I was going for, but I'll cope. There are worse things than being a comic figure! And now I really want to see that Disney film! I am told I have seen it when I was little, but have no recollection of it, though I love the book!
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:40 pm (UTC)Hm, to be honest, offbeat aging hipster is not as timeless as comics or children's lit. I love the quadrilogy in five parts, but the movie has nothing from it, esp. not the understanding about the step family. It's lovely-handdrawn; I disliked only the hints of Merlin knowing the 20st century, but you must love the wolf, and the owl having a hysterical laughing attack.
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Date: 2010-02-27 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 01:15 pm (UTC)Oh dear god. That is hysterical. Funnier than the Johnny Weir mani-pedi with butch ESPN commentator footage
I'm sorry to hear about the lactose intolerance. If it's any consolation, scones and any short pastry can be baked beautifully with coconut oil. But there's no real substitute for ice cream.
The fics were delish. I nearly fell out of my chair with the H/D meets JW madness.
Oh, the women were lovely. Just lovely. Perhaps it's not funny, but it was inspiring.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 01:29 pm (UTC)Femme is going to kill me with her Johnny links, but I will die happy. And yes, we all had a good laugh, I feel certain I will have the main girl pull me aside at some point so she can suggest I dress like a grown up.
And yes, I don't want to be funny about any of them because they all had such wonderful stories as to how they came to be there and had such grace. There's that American aerial jumper who I am similarly serious about, despite the fact I am sure that he, like the women skaters, are probably all quite fun in real life.
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:32 pm (UTC)We will die in a BLAZE of glory. And why dress like a grown up? If you aren't grown up yet, why bother?
I've been really awed by what I've seen of the women's. I loved Asada's short program and Kim Yu-Na is indomitable.
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:38 pm (UTC)But I am making an effort to be mostly good.
The women have all been lovely and strong. I think their programs are more old-school than the men's and couples, which is nice in many ways, but I wonder if the strength cold war that has been battled in men's skating will come to women's?
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Date: 2010-02-26 01:55 pm (UTC)God, yes. Or an outrageous amount of crème brulée and clotted cream from the jar.
On the upside, being mostly good has benefits for your skin that you can't buy in a (cosmetic) cream. But it's a poor substitute for the real thing, eh?
I think Kim Yu-Na is a sign of the strength and technique cold war. The fact that they placed her tenth in the men's rankings in news analysis is indicative of this.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 11:33 am (UTC)Oh god, creme brulee ... or mousse ... but yes, dairy binges are the only things that ever affect my skin, so you are right that good behaviour will be thoroughly rewarded :-)
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Date: 2010-02-26 02:09 pm (UTC)She is, I believe, the same kid who taught my son about zombies.
I have opinions about the best dairy-free frozen desserts but they only apply to the options available where I live. Last summer when we had our stacation we did a taste-test of all the local ice cream places and found out who makes the best sorbet. The place closest to our house makes a mojito sorbet that I wish I could pack up and send you...
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Date: 2010-02-26 02:14 pm (UTC)You know, for mojito sorbet, I may need to include you on my travel schedule. If only you were closer to Italy! I may need to break out my ice-cream maker and experiment ...
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Date: 2010-02-26 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 02:23 pm (UTC)The really awful thing is that some of my 12 year old friends are taller than me :-(
The other little kids were just having a laugh at the whole thing, and rightly so! I don't think I could find the energy to be six again!
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Date: 2010-02-26 02:51 pm (UTC)Thank you for showing me the way to the candy shop, er,
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Date: 2010-02-27 11:24 am (UTC)Pushdragon's whole backcatalogue is a place of delight. She has such a strong voice and incisive intelligence. You in particular will like a lot of her stuff, I feel sure. And yes, this one was quite brilliantly mad!
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Date: 2010-02-26 02:55 pm (UTC)Agreed that the below-eight crowd is really clueless about guessing ages. On the other end of the spectrum, in my teens I was often asked by younglings visiting the neighborhood how many children I have, their ages and where did I put them.
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Date: 2010-02-27 11:26 am (UTC)And YES! they have no idea! I think they have little lists in their head of what makes you a kid or a grown-up, and that one or two clues are seized on and used to make the decisions despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary ;-)
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Date: 2010-02-27 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-26 08:59 pm (UTC)43, huh? (note to self: must dress like a grown-up now and again...)
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Date: 2010-02-27 11:30 am (UTC)I meant to dress like a grown-up today, but the effect was more like a drag queen on the way to the gym (for some reason I thought red fishnets beneath capri-length running tights was a good idea.) On the upside, it's Mardi Gras in Sydney today, so drag queen was the look du jour!
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Date: 2010-02-27 06:27 am (UTC)You sound so cute though - we need pics of you in braids and a pinafore!!!
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Date: 2010-02-27 11:30 am (UTC)But yes, kids have no idea!
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Date: 2010-02-27 07:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 11:22 am (UTC)Obviously, this means I will be sticking to the sorbet end of the counter ;-) On the topic of which, I still haven't seen you since your birthday!
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Date: 2010-02-27 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 11:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-27 04:16 pm (UTC)were so young. Enjoy it.
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Date: 2010-02-27 10:19 pm (UTC)"Don't be ridiculous" must've made your YEAR.
"...and I shall call you 'Daddy'" has me in hysterics; I can't wait to read it. (I see lots of references to Johnny's friend Paris, but absent a last name, I can't find a picture of him. Do you know his surname?)
My darling friend
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Date: 2010-02-27 10:22 pm (UTC)How...do you give yourself colic... *stares*
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Date: 2010-02-27 10:29 pm (UTC)