Dear Americans,

[blamebrampton]

On the whole, I love you. I have long loved many of your countrymen, sometimes from afar as with Frank Capra and Katherine Hepburn, and sometimes from up close as with some very lucky young people in the 1980s and '90s.

I think your land is beautiful, your governments uniformly mad, your religious leaders alternately inspiring and depressing and your jazz miraculous.

But.

I would like to impose a rule on you all. If you cannot say the word penis, you may not handle, draw, write about or otherwise involve yourself with them. Babytalk derivatives do not count. Similarly, the F-bomb and C-bomb may no longer be. "That person used an expletive I am not comfortable with" or "Fuck me! She said cunt!" are your two options.

That is all, please go about your business.

With love,
Brammers

Comments

[carawen.livejournal.com]

An American here speaking up to say 'I agree.' I don't know how many times I've wanted to smack people for all the euphemisms. Yes, I can understand not wanting to say 'penis' in front of your elderly Italian Catholic grandmother, but in a group of peers, call it what it is.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY!!! Language should be as precise as possible.

Forgive me but I'm about to do another 'idiotic tales from my childhood' here. When I was three, my father was discovered by one of his friends frantically wandering the streets of Kensington crying quietly. "What happened?" she asked, worried. "I lost my daughter!" he declared. "Oh no! You poor man!" she cried. "Little Brammers was lovely! What happened?" "No, no, no, I've lost her. I know I left her with someone trustworthy, I just can't remember who ..." Hippies should not be allowed to care for toddlers ;-)

[no-mad-skillz.livejournal.com]

in a group of peers

I must tell you that in my pre-coffee state, I read that as "in a group of peens".

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Which one should NEVER parade in front of an Italian Catholic grandmother ...