Dear Americans,

[blamebrampton]

On the whole, I love you. I have long loved many of your countrymen, sometimes from afar as with Frank Capra and Katherine Hepburn, and sometimes from up close as with some very lucky young people in the 1980s and '90s.

I think your land is beautiful, your governments uniformly mad, your religious leaders alternately inspiring and depressing and your jazz miraculous.

But.

I would like to impose a rule on you all. If you cannot say the word penis, you may not handle, draw, write about or otherwise involve yourself with them. Babytalk derivatives do not count. Similarly, the F-bomb and C-bomb may no longer be. "That person used an expletive I am not comfortable with" or "Fuck me! She said cunt!" are your two options.

That is all, please go about your business.

With love,
Brammers

Comments

[shadowclub.livejournal.com]

Haha, I avoid writing sex scenes because I dislike using the word penis and some of the alternative(phallus, hunk of man meat, love stick, thing etc.) are questionable... :)

I think your land is beautiful, your governments uniformly mad, your religious leaders alternately inspiring and depressing and your jazz miraculous.

So true... but it's an election year for us so hopefully things will change!

[jadzialove.livejournal.com]

hunk of man meat, love stick, thing

Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!!


Ahem. *wipes eyes and sniggers* Whoo! Sorry. That cracked me up.

Though if any one of those lovely euphemisms showed up in something I was reading, I'm certain I'd be overcome with the same sort of giggle fit and find myself unable to finish. Very sexy!

[shadowclub.livejournal.com]

Pretty much kills the rest of the story doesn't it? I normally use cock when I do end up writing sex scenes.

Sometimes when my cousin and I get bored we make up euphemisms so I know way too many euphemisms to be considered sane:)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

You should ABSOLUTELY post that list ...

[shadowclub.livejournal.com]

I think I may have to now:)

Its like verbal diarrhea... without editing

[shadowclub.livejournal.com]

Oops, that came out wrong! What I meant to say is that I avoid using the word penis...

Re: Its like verbal diarrhea... without editing

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I think it came out perfectly!