Still barely here, alas ...

[blamebrampton]

I am no longer sick. My body has not quite caught up with the news, though. In a bid to stop the coughing fits and wheezing at irregular intervals, I went to the doctor.

'Oh yes,' he said, 'you've had the flu and the post-viral cough will hang around for eight to twelve weeks this year.'

'WHAT??!!'

'It's a bad year. You should have had a flu shot.'

'Yes, I realise that. I feel like a numpty. Useless now, though.'

'Quite. I'll nag you next year. For now, you can try cough syrup ...'

'Makes me wheezy, or sleepy, or slurry ...'

'Just sit around and rest for a couple of months, then. Stop laughing, you'll cough. OK, try Ventolin.'

'Ventolin? But, I've never had asthma.'

'You're wheezing irregularly and after exercise, Ventolin stops wheezing. Actually, you're terrible with drugs*, you can have Bricanyl, it's easier. Should stop you from scaring people at the gym with your sound effects.'

'Marvy! Does it have any side effects?'

'Coughing.'

'You can just tell me if you hate me and I will find another doctor, you know!'

'Eh, you're not the worst patient I have.'

Fast forward a day, and Mr B and I have just gone to drop our bags off in the lockers at the gym tonight and met up again at the elliptical machines (I shun them and do hill climbs on the bike, because I can close my eyes and remember actual hill climbs on actual bikes!)

'You took your time,' he said.

'I had to use my inhaler.'

'HEE! You're the fat kid at school! OW!!!'

On behalf of asthmatics and fat kids at school everywhere, he has a bruised bicep. He still holds it was worth it as a chance to mock me.




* This is not code for 'spent my twenties as a coked-up rockstar', rather that I once had to be carried home after 15mL of cough syrup with pseudoephidrine in it. I think I exhausted my drug quota in utero. Bloody hippies!

Comments

[winnett.livejournal.com]

I love your stories. And glad you're mostly better. Hate those lingering coughs.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's GHASTLY. And I sound like someone who has spent their lives in a Dickens novel. Bah! Still, made you smile, so my suffering is not without purpose! :-)

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I had a lingering cough for three weeks last year. Glad you're feeling better <3

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I just want to sing and not wheeze, is it too much to ask? (Yes, apparently.) Glad you got over it, I have hope!

[auntpurl.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, when I read your posts, I have nothing to say at the end except: I love you.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Darling, it is ENTIRELY MUTUAL!

And I have many things to chat about with you (and with theodoraleft and thisgirl_is, the three of you being my Most Loved Brits I Hardly Talk To Because I Am Crap (thisgirl is a ring-in, like you)), I think I am just going to write letters because I fail at computer!

[auntpurl.livejournal.com]

I love letters! We should write letters!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I spent one of my remaining five braincells wondering which b........ whom I got my painful ill-timed cold from. I remember thinking "wah get away oh I just know in three weeks I'll have it" but it could be moustache man*s daughter or slutty old charwoman ... and now I know it was you, hah, and I'll take all drugs you can smuggle to me thank you please because I was too cowardly to demand at least two days sick leave and no I won*t talk about it - I just want to know one thing: meds against coughing that make you cough - you made that up, right? Or is it like antidepressants that might make you suicidal?


Somehow you sound disgustingly healthy nevertheless, esp. hill climbing.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It wasn't me! It was the bastard who gave it to Mr B, who then gave it to me. I am convinced!

Do you know, I do have an awful lot of partially used cough syrup, but since not even nail varnish is allowed to be sent through the post these days, I fear that it would involve international travel for one of us.

And the inhaler is against wheezing, and can make you cough. The fact that I only wheeze when I cough is totally by the by, apparently!

I would not say healthy, fairly fit, but not currently healthy, alas!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I totally misread that as cough syrup in the mail directly causing one of us to go on international travel and pondered if I'd be willing to .. in handcuffs .. but then plane air makes colds worse *whinewhine*

Aaaaaaaaaah, yes, totally. One of the slightly ill men at the cellar studio told me to use south american millet (seed) for better breathing and I happily pass that on to you. Pale people have poor lung capacity. He says. Tanned ones have super lungs. Hm.

Hm again. True in general but I can*t begin to imagine wheezing through a locker room, even though a woman at that cellar studio actually pays the 100+ euros PER MONTH to get to the only swimming pool here which bloody John Harris privatised ... woops tangent. Glad you never feel too unwell to be witty : )

[hollyxu.livejournal.com]

I once had to be carried home after 15mL of cough syrup with pseudoephidrine in it

YOU TOO?? My friends still won't stop making fun of me...

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

IT IS A FIENDISH SUBSTANCE! All the best people are laid low by it! ;-)

[nenne.livejournal.com]

I laughed out loud when reding about your conversation with your doctor. :D

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

Inexplicable side effect is inexplicable!

Hope you get better soon with or without medicine!
(Have you ever tried Pei Pa Koa? Might help.)

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

((At the v. least it would soothe your throat.

Edited to clarify: Whenever I had a horrendous cough, I always see a doctor and take Western medicine, so I wouldn't know how efficacious Pei Pa Koa is for horrendous coughs.))

[spirillen.livejournal.com]

I want your doctor, he sounds a lot more fun than mine!

Hope you are feeling better.

Completely randomly - thought about you this weekend as Portsmouth had their first ever Ukulele festival. See - I do lurk even if I don't comment much.

[ldydark1.livejournal.com]

You sound like me when I go to my doctor.
I am sorry you are sick. The flu, 8-12 weeks of
lingering symtoms? I loved your post though, you
can make others smile, even in the thick of it.
I hope you get better soon! <3

[uminohikari.livejournal.com]

D: That is an incredibly long time to have a cough!

Lemon juice + honey? At the very least, it's tasty

[teganscrush.livejournal.com]

I adore Mr. B.

I have a cough too, that I've had for almost two months now, and I am so &^%$#@! sick of coughing if I laugh or speak more than a few words at a time. Nyquil Cough helps, but also knocks me out, so not practical for, you know, carting kid around or packing my stuff up, or filling out the papers for the Big-D. Ugh.

I do hope your cough goes sooner rather than later. <3

[rainien.livejournal.com]

I think I'd rather have your reaction to pseudoephidrine. I'm not allowed to take it because it makes me feel like I'm either about to have a heart attack or that my heart will simply leap out of my chest.

I do react badly to any med that contains even the smallest amount of narcotic. I had a migraine a couple of weeks ago that I just couldn't shake. Lucky for me, I work the front desk at a clinic. I called about mid-day to say that I was still feeling rotten and told them I was coming in to let them do something about it. My mom drove me to the clinic and I was given a shot of something I normally wouldn't get within 10 feet of (a little of this, mixed with a little of this). Before they'd give me the shot, though, I was asked three different times if I had someone to drive me home. I got my shot, went out to Mom's car, and we left. Three blocks from the clinic, I swear my head spun around 360 degrees. Two miles later, my whole face went numb. By the time we got to Mom's house 15 miles from the clinic, I couldn't walk because the whole world had turned into ocean-like waves; Mom had to help me into the house and into the nearest available bed. LOL I slept like the dead for four hours and woke up sans migraine and starving.

[mrsquizzical.livejournal.com]

the flu this year has sucked. and the post viral cough has also continued to suck. however i have friends and family who had the shot and still got the flu, so it's unfair to get that thrown in your face, imo.

[anthraxia.livejournal.com]

As an athmatic fatty currently wheezing with a sinus infection, please poke Mr B's bruise just for me? And then let me know if there's anything you'd like me to bring back from San Francisco next month.

[bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com]

I am of no help whatsoever except that this made me laugh. And you and Mr. B could write a book ala "shit my dad says." With frequent guest appearances by treacle's Small Girl as well. That child comes out with the best things ever!