A moment with J

[blamebrampton]

The house next door to ours has become available to rent, and by pure chance I discovered that a very nice colleague at a magazine I freelance for was interested in it. On the open day on Saturday I popped over to say goodbye to the lovely girls who have been living there, and there were a number of would-be renters including the chap I knew.

He waved hello and I wandered over. "Look at you! What a coincidence! We're so desperate to get this place, but look how many people there are!"

"Yes," I said, loudly. "It's a good house, but the security is pretty dreadful. I wouldn't want to be a young woman living here without a man about*, I think they should be telling people that there have been any number of occasions where people have jumped that front fence. It's just no deterrent."

The chap and his boyfriend grinned at me. "And the train noise isn't too bad," I continued. "We just live in the back part of the house, although you have all those windows, which will make it harder, but earplugs will help at night."

"Two groups just left," he told me. "Bless you."

After everyone had gone I chatted with the realtor. "Just give us nice neighbours, not horrible students!"

"Well," she said, "I liked that gay couple."

"Oh yes!" I enthused. "Did you know one of them is a landscape gardener? They live locally and have such a good reputation in the area!"

She seemed very pleased to hear this, and I left, my work done

I walked back into my own home, and J asked me what I had been up to.

"You are so tricky!" he laughed.

"Sneaky like a Slytherin!" I replied.

He looked at me, aghast. "You did not just say that!" he exclaimed.

I shook my head at him. "If I had used any of the allusions from Austen or Dickens that sprang to mind, would you have got them?"

"Yes!" he declared.

"Really?"

"No."


*NB, this bit is in fact a fib, since I was the person who scared off two of the three intruders into next-door's garden that I know of over the last eight years, with no help from anyone except my trusty gardening axe. You do not need a man, but I do recommend an axe.

Comments

[raitala.livejournal.com]

I think that the fact that there is really no way to stop someone, using an axe, without killing them is the reason behind the alacrity with which your intruders departed.

My father sleeps with an old dress sword under the bed. The one time he had to use it - insert image of small, wiry, naked man charging down a darkened staircase brandishing a sword - it proved a very effective deterrent. My mother favours simply eyeballing them in her nightie and saying in a teacherish fashion 'And what do you think you're doing!?' - that time they actually apologised on their way out. I am not sure my eyeballing is quite up to snuff, so I keep my old épée behind the living-room door.

I hope you get the neighbours you wanted. :)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I think that you are right!

I LOVE the mental image of your father. And your mother sounds magnificent!