They think I jest ...

[blamebrampton]

For anyone who has ever read any of my Australia: it'll kill ya posts and thought to themselves "Oh Brammers, you and your comedic exaggeration for effect ..." , I bring you this genuine news story from what passes for quality press in these parts. And you can have the link as is, since the untouched humour is immediately apparent.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/jogger-attacked-by-kangaroo/2008/09/01/1220121130240.html

You expect this sort of thing in the rural glades of Canberra (which is quite a nice city, so long as you either like roundabouts or are in no hurry), but not in Melbourne. tomatoe18 , your teacher told the truth!

It is the first day of spring here and Sydney turned on a splendid day of sun and blue skies. I still have influenza, because it's influenza. The chap at work, where I was vaguely functional for six hours, kept telling me that he'd had a really bad cold recently. "Yes," I said, "but I have flu, which is not the same."

"That's just a bad cold, isn't it? Are you on antibiotics?"

"Influenza is a different virus family to the set of viruses that cause colds, but both are viruses so neither respond to antibiotics," I told him, a little testily.

"Gosh, how do you know all this stuff?"

I resisted the urge to cough on him.

But I have to confess that is more than I did this morning on the train when a man decided that he could fit into the over-crowded carriage if he just leapt at my back and sent me careening into a (fortunately sturdy and understanding) young woman. I was fortunate to be pointing my face away from her, so my gasp of virus-laden air went over his outstretched hand, not any part of her. And then, I am ashamed to say, I sighed deeply over the side of his face. Be alive little viruses!

The train home made up for it, though. At Wynyard the sweet sound of a girlish soprano spilled pop ballad through the underground station, taking me back to one of my early Australian summers where I was on a train that stopped at St James to encounter a five-part harmony a cappella version of Like A Prayer. There is something very lovely about the sound of children singing (and the acoustics of underground stations are enough to tempt me, too).

I stopped to pay my Visa bill since I was at the nearby station rather than waiting for the train that stops across the road from my home. While I was in the bank I decided to change the PIN to something I can remember without having to look at the slip of paper hidden cunningly in one of the many books on my many shelves. I accomplished this, but not before the bank girl attempted to lend me half a million dollars and asked for my advice on successful relationships. That was an odd conversation, even by my standards.

Comments

[emerald-dragon8.livejournal.com]

OI! Enough of the Canberra-bashing, thank you. Canberra is a nice place to live, except when stupid drivers try and merge into your lane RIGHT ON TOP OF YOU (as happened to me today, sadly). And it never takes more than about 20 minutes to get anywhere here. I can go from my house on one side of town, to Dickson on the south side within 15 minutes in peak-hour traffic.

Anyway, yes, I agree, the kangaroo story is an appallingly bad example of Australian journalism. *headdesk*

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I wasn't being sarcastic! (I know it's hard to tell) It IS lovely, but it has loads of roundabouts and is very spread out!

I'd move there if my least favourite member of my extended peer group didn't live there. And I always send visitors down for a look at the Big Buildings and Urban Roos ;-)

[emerald-dragon8.livejournal.com]

We are often made fun of, it is hard to tell, sorry. :) We're like New Zealand, only without the accents.

Oh, god, every least favourite member of my peer group lives here. You know what's lovely? Being incredibly stressed about major exams I have tomorrow and Wednesday, and in the process of stressing finding out that a girl I already knew was saying horrible things about me behind my back has been calling me fat, too. Absolutely charming.

I swear, though, if I could marry the National Library, I would. All the books! And the behind-the-scenes is even better...

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha, I KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

[tomatoe18.livejournal.com]

Oh, hell. SO HE WAS *NOT* LYING. :O

The man was treated at the scene for a large gash on his head and smaller scratches on his arms, hands and chest and was taken to the Royal Melbourne Hospital in a stable condition.

Large gash on his head? I think I won't be coming near any kangaroos the next time I go to Australia, then. I much preferred the wombats anyway. *sniffs* (Unless, of course, wombats turn out to be deadly as well...)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

You have to really work at it to be killed by a wombat. Though the grumpy ones will nip your ankles given half a chance.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

There is one recorded fatality due to a wombat attack. It was a tourist.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Oh the virus laden air and how we love it.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I am so flat and vile, I hates it!

[calanthe-fics.livejournal.com]

The chap at work, where I was vaguely functional for six hours, kept telling me that he'd had a really bad cold recently. "Yes," I said, "but I have flu, which is not the same."

"That's just a bad cold, isn't it? Are you on antibiotics?"

"Influenza is a different virus family to the set of viruses that cause colds, but both are viruses so neither respond to antibiotics," I told him, a little testily.

"Gosh, how do you know all this stuff?"

I resisted the urge to cough on him.


You're channelling Shiv!!!!

*passes you a hot toddy*

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I am her older, stumpier, brunettier doppelganger. Ooh, I could go one of them ...

[libby-drew.livejournal.com]

Now then the flu turns into a pandemic, I can, with confidence, contact WHO and say, "It was Brammers and her damn 'it'll kill ya' Australian strain!' She started it all on the train! Are you listening to me, man? The train!

On a side note, the spellcheck on LJ wants to change your name to "Crammers".

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

That's entirely the story of my academic success ;-)

You know, I think I DID import last year's Sydney flu epidemic from New Zealand.

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

At least you weren't caught up in the disaster that was the Harbour Bridge traffic this morning, right? *looks hopeful*

My brother was, trying to get my mum to the airport. She missed her plane. Fortunately she was flying with Virgin and not Qantas, and phoned them as soon as she realised they were stuck. Virgin were awesome - they bumped her immediately to the next flight, passed her straight through check-in, and didn't charge her to move the flight. Very impressed.

It's been bloody windy here, and apparently despite some reasonable rainfalls over winter, our water storage is now lower than it was this time last year. We'll all be ruin't.

I'm still giggling over your description of Canberra. I am an ace round-about driver these days, and curse the native Melbournians who cannot negotiate one to save their lives. I wish they'd learn and save mine. They universally drift to the left lane mid turn when turning right, and I have missed messy and sudden death/dismemberment/inconvenience by the skin of my incredibly skinless teeth.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I catch the train, so aside from it being cheek-to-jowl, there was no drama. The train crew at North Sydney were actually great, ferrying down the bus passengers and clearing them out as efficiently as possible. They just opened the ticket gates and let people through with bus tickets at the City stations from what I heard. Good thinking! Wish I'd seen the chopper landing on the bridge, though.

Do not talk to me about motorists on roundabouts ... the number of times I was nearly wiped out when I used to cycle ... I lost count. GO MERE'S TEETH SKIN!

[sarcasticpixie.livejournal.com]

Australia sounds like Boston -- mad drivers, rude people who are convinced they have an inalienable right to get on this train, people who jog at strange hours -- but with wildlife. I am intrigued!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Similar, save that where most major cities have great architecture, Australian cities have marsupials.

[aldehyde.livejournal.com]

hehe spreading your little germies, tsk :P i've done the same to ppl who pushed me on buses though, hee hee.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I know, I feel so wrong, and yet I couldn't help myself.

[blindmouse.livejournal.com]

What? How is ... what? How are there kangaroos in the suburbs? I feel cheated. I've never seen a kangaroo in the suburbs here.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Clearly you need to take up early morning jogging ;-)

[daybreaq.livejournal.com]

You are absolutely correct that antibiotics won't work for influenza. Antibiotics are for bacteria. And until very recently treatment for viruses was pretty much to let the body do it's job and support the body to do it's job by reducing stress on it. (i.e. Lots of rest and fluids and good nutrition. You really shouldn't be working. I know that's often impractical; believe me I know. A few years ago I tried to mask influenza symptoms by pretty much overdosing on ibuprofen so I could keep working. My kidneys kinda started to rebel a bit ... no permanent damage fortunately. It was an incredibly stupid thing for me to do and I knew better.) In recent years, there have been much development in antivirals including ones for influenza. The current antiviral of choice is oseltamivir. It's called Tamiflu in the US. Since it is still under patent, it is probably Tamiflu in Australia as well. The twist is you need to start taking it within 48 hours of the onset of symptoms or it doesn't really work so it's probably too late for this particular bout. Still, I figure it's worth you knowing for the next time. As you pointed out, it's usually easy to tell the difference between a cold and influenza. So next time as soon as you feel those telltale aches and chills coming on, call your doctor to get an antiviral.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

You know, I did a story on Tamiflu last year and it never even occurred to me that I should seek a script for myself. I can be a little thick that way.

I stayed home and slept again today. So far the long periods of unconsciousness interspersed with fluids and vegies with eggs have been helpful. Will see how things look in the morning, another early night tonight.

Thanks for the very good advice, I'll do my best to follow it. At least I'll never accidentally overdose myself, drugs feel so weird in my bloodstream that I tend to say no, so a couple of paracetamol is the extent of things, particularly after last week's four aspirin (I am SO hardcore!). Very glad to hear that your ibuprofen experience caused no lasting damage!

[cinnatart.livejournal.com]

but not before the bank girl attempted to lend me half a million dollars and asked for my advice on successful relationships. That was an odd conversation, even by my standards. I'm sorry...what?


man those kangaroos are freaking dangerous. best be careful...or something. *snickers* =P

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Oh you may well laugh, but I was hit by a kangaroo in London Zoo when I was a little girl ;-)

And as for bank girl, she was MAD! It's the bank I have my credit card with, and so they have my credit record, and she realised that I do not have a home loan, and was ken to rectify this situation ...