A moment with J

[blamebrampton]

The house next door to ours has become available to rent, and by pure chance I discovered that a very nice colleague at a magazine I freelance for was interested in it. On the open day on Saturday I popped over to say goodbye to the lovely girls who have been living there, and there were a number of would-be renters including the chap I knew.

He waved hello and I wandered over. "Look at you! What a coincidence! We're so desperate to get this place, but look how many people there are!"

"Yes," I said, loudly. "It's a good house, but the security is pretty dreadful. I wouldn't want to be a young woman living here without a man about*, I think they should be telling people that there have been any number of occasions where people have jumped that front fence. It's just no deterrent."

The chap and his boyfriend grinned at me. "And the train noise isn't too bad," I continued. "We just live in the back part of the house, although you have all those windows, which will make it harder, but earplugs will help at night."

"Two groups just left," he told me. "Bless you."

After everyone had gone I chatted with the realtor. "Just give us nice neighbours, not horrible students!"

"Well," she said, "I liked that gay couple."

"Oh yes!" I enthused. "Did you know one of them is a landscape gardener? They live locally and have such a good reputation in the area!"

She seemed very pleased to hear this, and I left, my work done

I walked back into my own home, and J asked me what I had been up to.

"You are so tricky!" he laughed.

"Sneaky like a Slytherin!" I replied.

He looked at me, aghast. "You did not just say that!" he exclaimed.

I shook my head at him. "If I had used any of the allusions from Austen or Dickens that sprang to mind, would you have got them?"

"Yes!" he declared.

"Really?"

"No."


*NB, this bit is in fact a fib, since I was the person who scared off two of the three intruders into next-door's garden that I know of over the last eight years, with no help from anyone except my trusty gardening axe. You do not need a man, but I do recommend an axe.

Comments

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

Who needs a man when you've got an AXE?

Slytherin indeed, you!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I have my moments ;-)

I have to say that J is all very strong and noble, but in a fight I would worry about him terribly, whereas show a burglar a five-foot-and-a-bit girlish woman grinning and comfortably hefting a good solid axe and they invariably flee.

Which is just as well as I have yet to work out how to stop someone, using an axe, without killing them.

[cinnatart.livejournal.com]

you know... Somehow I think I wouldn't mind having you as a neighbour. I wouldn't mind it at all =P

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I am very good at supplying sugar and scaring away burglars. Though we are rather loud when we watch late-night F1 Grand Prix, but not so as you would notice if you had the windows shut ....

(It would be fun to live next door to you, but if I had the money to make that kind of shift I would also be buying you a house that allowed only selected relatives in through the gate ;-)

[dysonrules.livejournal.com]

That made me giggle! *hands you a cloth to polish your Slytherin badge*

Excellent work.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I like to think I could have made a go of it in most houses ...

Thank you!

[libby-drew.livejournal.com]

LOL I love you. Such a good friend.

I don't have an axe. But I do have a crossbow. I haven't had to wield it. Yet. (Though I've thought about it with you-know-who.)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Well, it's in my own interests to have nice neighbours!

Crossbows are so sensible! We have long bows, which are less wieldy indoors. I do think that you would get away with a crossbow cleaning accident, especially if the bolt merely pierced someone's buttocks ...

[leochi.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha... I just love this *g*

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Well, it's important to have good neighbours! And, while J likes Potter, he also likes to pretend to be appalled that I write fic. This from a man who plays internet spaceships ...

[empress-jae.livejournal.com]

my baseball bat is my weapon of choice. it's been with me at my bedside for 12 years. :D

*hugs you with slytherin pride*

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

*hugs back!*

It's a classic weapon, though hard to wield in a narrow hallway.

[shiv5468.livejournal.com]

You are evil, which isn't a criticism at all

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It is a skill I've been working on for a few decades, I have excellent mentors.

[rocket62204.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha. :D You are amazing. I hope the guys you know get the house!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

So do I, the house they are in now will not be available for much longer as the owner's daughter is very ill and needs a rent-free home close to her parents. As they say, they can;t even feel cranky about that with any sense of fairness. Should find out in the next few days ...

[romaine24.livejournal.com]

♥ you!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

And I heart you!

[fourth_rose]

Your House is very proud of you, dear ;)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's very difficult, I have Slytherin cunning plans, a Gryffindor axe fetish and a Ravenclaw book fetish. I'm no good at Hufflepuff patience, or I'd be wholly divided.

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

Great RL story!

Yay for Slytherin cunning!

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I think that Voldemort would have been defeated in book five if Harry had ever thought to make it up with Draco ...

[pingrid.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed! Devious, self-serving AND altruistic all in one - that's no mean feat! :D I hope they get it; please let us know.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I was happy with my fine balancing of ethical lines ;-)

[raitala.livejournal.com]

I think that the fact that there is really no way to stop someone, using an axe, without killing them is the reason behind the alacrity with which your intruders departed.

My father sleeps with an old dress sword under the bed. The one time he had to use it - insert image of small, wiry, naked man charging down a darkened staircase brandishing a sword - it proved a very effective deterrent. My mother favours simply eyeballing them in her nightie and saying in a teacherish fashion 'And what do you think you're doing!?' - that time they actually apologised on their way out. I am not sure my eyeballing is quite up to snuff, so I keep my old épée behind the living-room door.

I hope you get the neighbours you wanted. :)

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I think that you are right!

I LOVE the mental image of your father. And your mother sounds magnificent!

[lisbet.livejournal.com]

LOL! You sound like a great neighbor! I love the axe imagery.

My husband keeps medieval swords around and knows how to use them. Me, I have a sword by my side of the bed, too, but I am not so good with it. I tend to favor the eyeball and nightgown technique as well. Oh, and red eyes and bed-head. I even scare myself some early mornings...

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is, J does medieval sword fighting as one of his martial arts, yet does he ever go chasing after evildoers with his mighty weaponry of mightiness? Why no.

Bathrobes and bedhead can be VERY SCARY!

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

LOL

Here's a badge:

***DRACO is PROUD of YOU***

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

ps. are they hot? *leers*

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do like your style! Especially the axe. Lady+Axe=OTP

I hope they get the house! Good neighbours are a wonderful thing. :D

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

It's a very useful weapon, and very handy in the garden when there are no burglars about.

I think they should find out in the next few days, my fingers are crossed!!

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

you are the cutest thing [*snuggles*]

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

No, I am serious! And dignified! [snuggles back]

[luthien82]

Hehe. I hope they'll get the house!