I always knew it would come to this ...

[blamebrampton]

pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

Comments

[not-an-elf.livejournal.com]

Six of the Best

as in;

"Cor! Then he took me to the kitchen, bent me over the Royal Albert and gave me six of the best!"

or my personal favorite

The Glory

Appropriately capitalised please.

[frantic-flirt.livejournal.com]

How about some Portuguese (the Brazilian kind)...

Pipi = for young children (boys and girls).
Pinto = translates into *bird*, is very colloquial and not at all offensive.
Pintinho = translates into *little bird*, also for young children (boys only).
Pau = translates into your good old *cock*
Rola = also translates into *cock*
Pau and Rola vary from colloquial to crude depending on the context and inflexion you use when you say it.

:D

[rhaniyago.livejournal.com]

you're absolutely and 200% right! That's why I exclusively read smut in English. (the only exception being "liriaen" who wrote an amazing H/D fic in German "Algebra in der temporären autonomen Zone", where the plot is more important and the sex quite subtle). And being over 50 now, I only recently realised that the fact that I have never been really "vocal" during sex is certainly due to the difficulty with the German language. How much easier is it to say "fuck me" than the German equivalent "fick mich" which is simply "ehhw". Even French is easier to moan...

[mabonwitch.livejournal.com]

A little clarification on some US slang...

Wee-wee, pee-pee, and whizzer are the kind of language a parent might use when potty-training a child, though the last is slightly vulgar.

Children up to the pre-teen years, in my experience, use non-sexual but minorly vulgar terms like ding-dong, weiner, weenie, gonads (balls)and nuts. These words are usually only used among themselves, as there's a sense that talking about genitalia is Not Done.

Pre-teens and teens start using sexual terms: stiffy/stiff one, woody/morning wood, boner, and hard on to mean "erection" and dick, prick, and cock for penis.

It would be really odd for an adult here to use stiffy, woody, or boner, since those are mostly adolescent words.

Three more that I know are specific to the transgendered community. Bottom surgery- turning a vagina into a penis- isn't up to standard, so those who go through with it end up with (to the best of my understanding) either 'normal' sized but non-functioning cocks or very small cocks that are functioning. These small cocks are sometimes called "boydicks", "transdick" or "trannycock".

bare_me

[sivullinen.livejournal.com]

Finnish:

kyrpä: very vulgar. I only see this in pornier literature, but then again the company I keep is polite ;)

pippeli: used by small children or playfully

kikkeli: see above, but this could be used by adults too in a non-sexual context (slightly more vulgar)

kalu: lit. tool, can be used when males talk to other males (or when women talk about their significant other's penis to their lady friends). This isn't too vulgar, and I wouldn't be shocked to see it used in a newspaper, for example.

muna: lit. egg, used especially by teenagers, and in the expression "imeä munaa" (suck dick)

I'll add more if I think of them! :)

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

There're a lot of international swearing dictionaries. this is the one I found on first googling.

I am especially interested in the UK/US differences (with other English-speaking countries added to it).

Alrighty. For penis, you say?
pénisz - penis
fasz - cock (although more rude, I think)
farok - tail (usage is same as in those German entries)
fütyi, kuki- willy
pisilő - pee pee (v. v. kindergarden euphemism - used for both genders' equipments)
pöcs - dick
gyík - lit. newt - vulgar but not that rude - usually used to describe one's own penis. (Funny 'coincidence' is that FAQ is translated literally into GYIK which might or might not have contributed to its popularity of recent)
ágykígyó - lit. bed snake - more funny than rude and perhaps a bit outdated
kukac - lit. worm - a piece of kindergarden vulgarity

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of anything else right now. I'm not very up to date in Hungarian swearing.

[mytla.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of one summer afternoon, back in 1978.
I was twelve.
I happened on a small group of friends, girls all of them, competing on how many slang words they knew to nickname a penis.
They were merrily seated in a circle, crosslegged on the floor, very seventy style, listing cock euphemisms and I was passing by with a book on Shax tragedies in ancient english and stood, there, clasping my tome.
We assessed each other.
I thought they were braindamaged, they thought I was lovedamaged, which, in the end, proved being true on both accounts.
SO...Since back then I lost my occasion, and my love-damage has been healed in the meanwhile, I'll give it a shot!

I'll list a base of the most common general terms, nation wide, because I'm not familiar with the hundreds of region specific ones beyond mine, I'm sicilian so...

starting with the less offensive:

PISELLO: polite (you can say it to your children too), national wide use, close to anatomical reference. Literally meaning "pea pod".

UCCELLO: quite polite, even if already with marked sexual reference. Not safe with old auntie Titina around. Literally meaning "bird".

CAZZO: ok, now we definitely are in swearing range. Cazzo also compares to colloquial english "Fuck", we so very often use it. You could say "non me frega un cazzo" like "I don't give a damn". Literally meaning "prick".

COGLIONI: would refer to the balls which you can also say "palle", and has no other specifical translation and in his singular version, can be used to indicate the poor esteem in wich you keep the intellectual ability of the insulted. Tipically:"Sei un coglione!"

MINCHIA: sicilian for "cock" and I specify it is a she. In Sicilian we call the pussy a he and the cock a she, and better not going there...

more?

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

The ones I know are:

Gau/Lan - both vulgar Cantonese words that literally means dick. But add other words to them like (Lan) Yeung, it becomes dickhead instead, or even more obscene words instead.

Lan Jiao - Vulgar Hokkien term for dick. (the 'lan' here is pronounced differently from the lan above)

Diao - Mandarin equivalent of the peen. It used to be an insult, but it can sometime means 'fucking cool' nowadays.

Xiao Di Di - Mandarin. Literally means 'little brother'. Mostly used by children.

Ku Ku Chiao - Cantonese. Mostly used by children. Similar to wee-wee or pee-pee.

Kotek - Malay slang for penis.

Kemaluan - Malay. Polite term for male or female genitalia. Similar to privates.

BTW, I found this odd little journal called The Penis-word Resource. A resource for those interested in how the world refers to penises.

o.O

[norton-gale.livejournal.com]

I saw a documentary about the pregnant transman, and he said that male hormones had made his clitoris grow large enough so that he could have penetrative sex with his wife. I thought that was interesting.

[bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com]

Well, I have nothing to add that has not already been said but I once again find myself wishing I had a copy of the script for Hair (what do they call that it theatre lingo, the dialogue of a musical - the book?) as there is a lovely poem all about the penis. I think I may have to break down and special order it from some fancy theatre website. Goddamn, I love Hair. *off to put on soundtrack*

[winnett.livejournal.com]

I think most of mine will be repeats

Schlong, dick, pecker, cock, prick are all pretty exchangeable. I think dick is more polite without being all official and saying 'penis.'

Cock is probably the 'roughest' of the group above.

Wood, boner, hard-on, stiffy are all used for an erect penis. All pretty tame, really.

Pee-pee or wee-wee is used for little kids. (though wee-wee might be the peeing action… I don't have kids, but I think those are both used.)

Testicles are often – nards, balls, juevos,

And yeah, you have package, junk, jewels for the entire set or organs.

*waves at fellow txn*

[arobynsung]

Also, "Cojones" in the same context.

(I hope I got the spelling right)

[wenchilada.livejournal.com]

whoopee stick
lap rocket
cranny ax
boink swatter
nether rod
dude piston
quiver bone
pork steeple

And you should be able to figure out where I got those from. But just in case you didn't, sing along with me now...

"Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo"

(I haven't read all the replies to this post, just in case someone has already used this reference)

Oh and as for Chinese? Wang? (Or whatever the translation for rooster/cock is, which I will look for later)

[mytla.livejournal.com]

the Royal Albert????
Which part of the kitchen furnishing would that be?

[(Anonymous)]

I'd have to disagree on 'tap' - that's risque? The first thing I think of whenever I hear that word is the Mannikenpiss. Very little boy-ish and generally completely free of sexual implications. Tap doesn't only mean water tap, but any small protrusion (as in English?) - the tap in a lock, for instance. So it does imply something of a not too significant size.

'Pik' is very common and the "sexiest" word around, I think that's the consensus anyway. It is sometimes interspersed with the more outrageous ones - 'ynglekaep' (breeding rod), 'tredjebenet' (the third leg), 'pikkemand' - an adultified version of 'tissemand' (pik + tissemand), 'dillermand' - same construction. Even worse are 'ködrullen' (the meat roll) and 'skumspröjten' (the foam hose).

'Diller' also exists on its own, somewhere between 'pik' and 'tissemand'. I don't think I've heard it used since 2. grade though - sort of one you use while you work up the guts to actually (gasp!) say 'pik'.

'Tissemand' itself has won a great bit of at least the younger generation as the go-to word for every occasion. Probably because most find that Danish is horribly unsexy, and young people are completely incapable of speaking about sex in anything but a joking manner - in Danish that is.
I've noticed that whenever sex comes up in my classes - age 16 to 28 of almost normal and well rounded young people - most will use not english expressions, but sentences, mixed in.

'Lem' is polite - kind of. It also calls to mind bad bad bad erotic romance novels and your grandmother.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd have to disagree on 'tap' - that's risque? The first thing I think of whenever I hear that word is the Mannikenpiss. Very little boy-ish and generally completely free of sexual implications. Tap doesn't only mean water tap, but any small protrusion (as in English?) - the tap in a lock, for instance. So it does imply something of a not too significant size.

'Pik' is very common and the "sexiest" word around, I think that's the consensus anyway. It is sometimes interspersed with the more outrageous ones - 'ynglekaep' (breeding rod), 'tredjebenet' (the third leg), 'pikkemand' - an adultified version of 'tissemand' (pik + tissemand), 'dillermand' - same construction. Even worse are 'ködrullen' (the meat roll) and 'skumspröjten' (the foam hose - refers to a fire hose..).

'Diller' also exists on its own, somewhere between 'pik' and 'tissemand'. I don't think I've heard it used since 2. grade though - sort of one you use while you work up the guts to actually (gasp!) say 'pik'.

'Tissemand' itself has won a great bit of at least the younger generation as the go-to word for every occasion. Probably because most find that Danish is horribly unsexy, and young people are completely incapable of speaking about sex in anything but a joking manner - in Danish that is.
I've noticed that whenever sex comes up in my classes - age 16 to 28 of almost normal and well rounded young people - most will use not english expressions, but sentences, mixed in.

'Lem' is polite - kind of. It also calls to mind bad bad bad erotic romance novels and your grandmother.

[grey-hunter.livejournal.com]

I've remembered another one. I think you'll like it. *snickers*

bráner - vulgar and a bit rude but not used as a swear word - I think it's either a recent word or recently became "cool".

[old-enough.livejournal.com]

I'd agree with you about "tap" except that the last time I used the word was with a bunch of men and several of them actually blushed when I said it--and they were in their early 30's--so I've mentally moved it over to the "words to be careful with" list. :D

And "Lem"? Yes, bodice-rippers! I hope my friend didn't see me roll my eyes last time I heard her say that!

I can also so add to the language collection. My husband's family comes from southern Japan and they all use en famille "pikoro" (piccolo as pronounced in Japanese) for "penis". So that seems to be at least one expression for "willy" in Japanese.

And there is "chimpou" (long "o"--however you want to transliterate it" which seems to be the main word for "dick". I have heard my mother-in-law use it, but she is definitely "country" and uses lots of words that I learned when I was studying Japanese as being expressions that I shouldn't use in polite conversation.