I always knew it would come to this ...

[blamebrampton]

pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

Comments

[fourth_rose]

Now that should be fun...

(Southern) German:

Schwanz (=tail): common euphemism, considered rather vulgar, possible in sexual references if you're for the direct approach ;)

Pimmel (Austrian variety: Pimpfel): slightly vulgar, but mostly used in a semi-joking fashion

Zumpferl: affectionate in a very non-sexual way (it's a diminuitive, hence not to be used in the heat of the moment!)

Johannes (= John): somewhat old-fashioned, mostly used in a joking manner

Spatz (= sparrow): kiddy-talk - the term you might teach a toddler to use.

ETA: Commenter above beat me to most of them, I see ;)

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Du bist Deutsche oder Österreicherin??

Spatz and Zumpferl are aweseome, though I never heard of them ;-). Interesting how we seem to differ slightly in the estimates of vulgarness ... Schwanz seems so common to me, I barely even consider it vulgar anymore ;-).

[fourth_rose]

Ösi hier ;)

"Schwanz" is considered quite vulgar here - I think quite a bit more than in the Northern parts of the German-speaking world. It's common in slang, but definitely not something you'd use even in semi-polite conversation.

"Zumpferl" is probably Viennese or at least Eastern Austrian, although I couldn't say for sure. It would be interesting to know if it's used in Bavaria as well, but I'd say definitely not north of the "Weißwurstäquator" ;)

[vaysh11.livejournal.com]

Berliner Exil-Schwäbin hier ;-). Also zwar unterhalb des Weißwurstäquators, aber "Zumpferl" sagt man im Schwabenland definitiv nicht. Zippel allerdings schon.

I translate porn, so perhaps Schwanz seems like an everyday word just to me ;). It's mentioned here in everday conversations, which obviously doesn't revolve around male genitalia all of the time.

[fourth_rose]

Österreich und Deutschland unterscheiden sich bekanntlich vor allem durch die gemeinsame Sprache ;))

Perhaps the fact that "Schwanz" is outright vulgar here is one of the reasons why I can't read German smut. It throws me right out of any scene that's supposed to be sexy, although I doubt I could think of a better term. Hardly surprising all the smut I write is in English :)

Oh, and now that you mention it, I've heard the term "Zipfe(r)l" used here as well, which seems to be a close relative to "Zippel".

[fourth_rose]

Forgot one! The standard, "polite" term (if you don't want to use the more clincial "Penis") is "Glied" (=limb). It's probably the equivalent of the English term "member", and has about the same degree of sexiness ;)

As for the erect penis, I saw "Ständer" has already been mentioned, but there's also "Latte" (= plank). There was a great McDonald's commercial here a while ago, where you saw a cup of coffee and the caption "Morgen-Latte", which, for the pure of heart, could mean a cafe latte in the morning, but for normal people meant "morning wood". I'm still wondering what would happen if McDonald's went for the same kind of innuendo in the US...